Seeker and women

[Shellie]

Well, sometimes living together isn't the best idea. As soon as the woman moves in, SHE takes over the household and will hold you to higher standards than she holds herself. I am talking, one fucking dish left in the sink, and it's as bad as if you accidently backed over the family cat. If the garbage is sitting around for two days, or accidently leave a book or DVD case sitting on top of the cofee table.... And all of your friends immediately become assholes, no matter how good of people they are. God gave man the back of his hand for a reason!


Anyways, it depends on the girl, some girls are comfortable with moving in right away; others don't want it at all. Personally, I much prefer to have my own space. I always found a good set-up is that both have their own places, they can still sleep together every night, but each still has their own place, their own space.

And over the years, I have come to quite a large discovery, that is that all girls secretly hate each other. It is something that is not documented, but it is true. Even their best friends, in fact, it seems like girls hate their best friends the most. Then when the other girls are around, they may seem they are having a great time together, but their not, they are constantly judging each other; and if she is looking pretty, then there is resentment, if not so pretty then she's inferior. Girls, unlike guys, seem to lack the ability to see anyone as an equal, and are always trying to gain the upper hand.

The main form of manipulation they try to use is that they pretend like they're depressed about something, and don't even tellyou what it is. But you think logically, so you really aren't even sure about it sometimes, until you think a little more, and you realize it is something ridiculous that you don't see as anything more than the issue of what it is. Watch out for these things, and it's always an over-reaction!

The best reason to move in with a girl is so she'll stop phoning you all the time. Why the hell do we come up with that kind of logic, but it's exactly what we think sometimes! This always comes up as one of the top 5 benefits of moving in together.

Despite my rant, and the female tendency to not think logically, I really do love girls =)

I really hope you are joking. If not, you must be basing this on one bad relationship.

[Julius Seeker]

I really hope you are joking. If not, you must be basing this on one bad relationship.

I was joking about the "back of my hand" thing, but the rest of it, it's all generally fairly true about women. I somehow doubt that women are even conscious about how they act most of the time. You don't have to believe what I say, this is just what I have found.

One bad relationship? Why not about 9 or 10 bad relationships? Heck, I won't even say they were all bad, a lot of those ones were good, they just had bad things about them.

[Kupek]

I really hope you are joking. If not, you must be basing this on one bad relationship.

Don't bother.

[Julius Seeker]

I really hope you are joking. If not, you must be basing this on one bad relationship.

Don't bother.

Serphina, this is just Kupek's way of saying that since I often strongly disagree with his morals and beliefs, that you probably shouldn't talk to me. Maybe he's right, maybe he's wrong, it's not up to him or me to decide =)

To put things simply. I don't believe in anything I have posted in this thread so far, or really anything at all! If you want me to be honest. However, this is the opinion that I have based on the ideas that I have from my experiences in life; and my opinions are always stated strongly. Why express them in a weaker way?

[Kupek]

Serphina, this is just Kupek's way of saying that since I often strongly disagree with his morals and beliefs, that you probably shouldn't talk to me. Maybe he's right, maybe he's wrong, it's not up to him or me to decide =)

She balked at your sexist remarks, and I told her not to bother because I think your views betray egoism and lack of introspection. I don't think it's worth trying to reason with your views since I don't think they are the result of reason.

[Julius Seeker]

Serphina, this is just Kupek's way of saying that since I often strongly disagree with his morals and beliefs, that you probably shouldn't talk to me. Maybe he's right, maybe he's wrong, it's not up to him or me to decide =)

She balked at your sexist remarks, and I told her not to bother because I think your views betray egoism and lack of introspection. I don't think it's worth trying to reason with your views since I don't think they are the result of reason.

Do you really think Shelly needs you telling her what to do? I am not telling her or anyone what to believe, I am only saying what I have to say on the subject. I could be innacurate, I could be wrong; but what would happen to your views if I was completely right? And what if your assessment of how I came to my conclusions was completely wrong?

Do you believe you have more wisdom on the subject than I do? Or anyone else with these views that you would choose to simply just label as being sexist? How much wisdom do you actually have on the subect? Have you ever lived with a girl before?

Also, why do you believe that the views I have written are sexist? Flip the coin around, do you think it is sexist for a woman to hold a man to higher standards of clenliness than she holds herself (I.E. Impossible!)?

Is there any sexism in saying that it is better to have your own space and just spend nights together?

I don't know, maybe there is, I hold the idea that there isn't. Perhaps you would like to enlighten me on this; since it seems to me that you are disagreeing with me based on the possibility that you feel you are wiser than I am on the subject.

Here, I'll even give you one:

"Girls, unlike guys, seem to lack the ability to see anyone as an equal, and are always trying to gain the upper hand."

I can see how this could be interpreted as being sexist. It's a simple statement, and a shallow one, without any elaboration, and therefore actually inacurate to my view when in this context. Yet: have you ever dated a woman who has tried to be your equal? One who didn't try to get ahead of you or in control of at least one aspect of your life? Even when a woman acts incredibly submissive and shy all the time, there's the moodiness and other forms of attempted manipulation (a lot of guys are fairly immune to this, or perhaps many of us are just too dense to pick up the hints, or too insensitive to care). The "unlike guys" part of my statement could be seen as sexist (since I will admit IS innacurate to my belief in the particular context of what I have written in this line above), but I have found that guys often have people in their lives who they want to be equal with; though it is true (from my experiences) that most will try to be your leader or your follower, and most often not your equal. With girls, I have known a lot, I talk to a lot of girls, and every girl I have ever known very well has always complained about all their friends, their siblings, etc... And many others. Perhaps there are women out there who aren't like this, but I am going to take a guess and say that a lot of guys here have observed many of the same things I have. My guess could be completely wrong, it could be partially wrong and partially right, but then again I could also be correct.

Here's a tip: doubt everything that is ever said, but don't let your biases cause you to reject consideration of everything which you don't believe in.

[SineSwiper]

Well, sometimes living together isn't the best idea. As soon as the woman moves in, SHE takes over the household and will hold you to higher standards than she holds herself. I am talking, one fucking dish left in the sink, and it's as bad as if you accidently backed over the family cat. If the garbage is sitting around for two days, or accidently leave a book or DVD case sitting on top of the cofee table.... And all of your friends immediately become assholes, no matter how good of people they are. God gave man the back of his hand for a reason!

The best way to handle this is to treat each other as equals. She's not the "head of the household" and neither are you. Leave relationship politics out of it. If you're trying to be nice to get laid, don't do it. If you're going the other direction and being an asshole just for the hell of it, don't do that either. Don't be afraid of bitching out the situation.

[SineSwiper]

I really hope you are joking. If not, you must be basing this on one bad relationship.

Actually, you yourself have remarked on how women hate other women. Chris Rock has joked about it, too. It's not really an alien concept.

[Shellie]

Actually, you yourself have remarked on how women hate other women. Chris Rock has joked about it, too. It's not really an alien concept.

Oh I agree on that point. At least I do that I know. But I dont think we really hate other women..I think we see them as competition, and by judging them, we judge ourselves and how we stack up against them.

As soon as the woman moves in, SHE takes over the household and will hold you to higher standards than she holds herself. I am talking, one fucking dish left in the sink, and it's as bad as if you accidently backed over the family cat. If the garbage is sitting around for two days, or accidently leave a book or DVD case sitting on top of the cofee table.... And all of your friends immediately become assholes, no matter how good of people they are. God gave man the back of his hand for a reason!

The best reason to move in with a girl is so she'll stop phoning you all the time. Why the hell do we come up with that kind of logic, but it's exactly what we think sometimes! This always comes up as one of the top 5 benefits of moving in together.

THIS is what I have a problem with.

I'm not a "girl power" kind of person....but I can't believe you would make that kind of generalization about women. I mean, maybe you are going after the wrong kind of women or something, I dont know. But the women I know, including me, do not act like the superior being of the relationship. Im not as good at debating as you guys, so Im not going to bother arguing my point. I doubt you would change your mind anyway.

[Julius Seeker]

Actually, you yourself have remarked on how women hate other women. Chris Rock has joked about it, too. It's not really an alien concept.

Oh I agree on that point. At least I do that I know. But I dont think we really hate other women..I think we see them as competition, and by judging them, we judge ourselves and how we stack up against them.

As soon as the woman moves in, SHE takes over the household and will hold you to higher standards than she holds herself. I am talking, one fucking dish left in the sink, and it's as bad as if you accidently backed over the family cat. If the garbage is sitting around for two days, or accidently leave a book or DVD case sitting on top of the cofee table.... And all of your friends immediately become assholes, no matter how good of people they are. God gave man the back of his hand for a reason!

The best reason to move in with a girl is so she'll stop phoning you all the time. Why the hell do we come up with that kind of logic, but it's exactly what we think sometimes! This always comes up as one of the top 5 benefits of moving in together.

THIS is what I have a problem with.

I'm not a "girl power" kind of person....but I can't believe you would make that kind of generalization about women. I mean, maybe you are going after the wrong kind of women or something, I dont know. But the women I know, including me, do not act like the superior being of the relationship. Im not as good at debating as you guys, so Im not going to bother arguing my point. I doubt you would change your mind anyway.

Nah, I'm taking your point into consideration. It is possible that I do in actuality go after the wrong type of women, I have been told that is my problem before; but by other women =P

It also might be just what I personally bring to the table; I might actually have the type of personality that drives women to these extremes. Or perhaps everything I have listed is really not as bad as I make it out to be, and in that case, it is also due to what I bring to the table because certain things annoy me more than what others think they should.

Generally though, most girls I know have a tencency to call me up every single day, sometimes multiple times a day; and the telephone ring really gets on my nerves now. I don't mind objective phone calls but, lets just say with the women I have dated, often the phone calls are often completely worthless; about things that I should not have to say. Like there is very little objectivity to the calls, and if there is objectivity, it is something out of my own hands, or something which she should already know already; these are 98% of the phone calls I get, or so it seems. It might be my choice in women, but the only thing I see in common with the ones I date is that they are young women who go to University.

Well, about the moving in thing, I have lived with just two different girls before, one of them I lived with for close to three and a half years. The problems were always the same as I had listed above. I look at my best friend as well, and his girlfriend treats him the exact same way, even though he doesn't even seem to realize it. Other people I could say the same, but I haven't really been around enough to observe it. I could be wrong, maybe this isn't how it is; but I have spoken to it with my dad before, and he says that's one of the reasons why he never stuck around in one place for long, but that being a man is having to deal with it. My dad is not a good person to draw relationship advice from, I will admit. Then again, I believe a wiser person said once, along these lines "to seek advice on life, don't ask those who are successful."

[SineSwiper]

It looks like you date women because they are hot, not because they have interesting conversations. You should probably go find somebody on E-Harmony, or at least try to find women based on your interests. If you don't want to spend 4 hours on the phone with them the first time you talk, it's probably because she just isn't interesting to you.

[Mana Man]

Seek, it sounds like you go after some shallow women! I'm lucky and I found myself a good one... but this is not to say that I haven't met many girls like you describe.

I think it's fair to say that a female could an equally unflattering description of males if she were so inclined...

[Julius Seeker]

*Laughing at the title of this thread* =P

WARNING, lots of unelaborated opinions ahead:

Yeah, I think it is a very possible that somehow I am attracted to shallow women. Who knows the reasoning behind it? I think that often I do end up talking to certain girls all day or all night; but never on the phone it seems except once in in a blue moon. Perhaps it is that the phone thing is my fault, that I unconsciously make zero attempts at extending a conversation. I always consider myself more of a face to face person anyways.

I think another thing is that a lot of the time I do meet a girl who I can have great conversations with, but just because we have a lot to talk about does not mean that we actually have a lot of similar interests. I think it is fair to say that the physical aspect is what dominates in every relationship I have been in lately. Perhaps it is just that the idea of a long relationship are not attractive to me at this particular time; so I subconsciously avoid them.

As for women coming up with a lot of negative stereotypes about men; it is my current opinion that a lot of them are even worse about it than we can be (or at least, than I can be); for example, a lot of women seem to think that it is mostly men who play games; I disagree with this. I dislike playing games myself, and feel that a lot of women who I date tend to do the people pleaser thing before they actually reveal the type of person they really are; but men do this too.

Of course, it could all just be attributed to bad luck, who knows for certain; I haven't really formed a single opinion on this aspect of my life just yet.