The Shrine

nt

Hey guys.

First let me say thanks for taking Kim serious and helping her out in anyway that you may have done. I really appreciate it and i know that she probably does, too.

I had a pretty major mental breakdown last week. Part of it was due to my compulsive gambling problem, which i am finally getting help for, and part of it was due to marital issues which i dont know when or how or even if i want to begin to fix at the moment.

I schemed the plan sort of last minute on Monday, which is when i think i stepped out of my body and things took over from there. On Tuesday morning when Kim left for work i packed up my car with whatever i could and simply drove out west. I was tired of dealing with the lies, gambling related facades, issues at work and issues at home and thought that running away would be my best option. I had read someplace in a list of best places to live that Minneapolis was #2 so i figured why the heck not, it would be the last place anyone would think to look for me.

I wrote a long rambling half mad note, gave my dogs a hug, and just went, not looking back. I had 12 hours on the road before Kim would ever be home to find out and i intended to use every minute of it to get as far away as i could.

It took 3 days of no sleep and hardly any food for me to finally get the chance to get on a computer. When i did, i saw the messages here and the e-mails from my family begging me to come home. At this point i had still thought i was doing the right thing by leaving, but after reading everything i finally broke down and cried for the first time since i had left, and it was for a long time. I was cold, in Madison Wisconsin, hardly any money, in a smelly hotel room, alone, and with no purpose or place to go. I decided that i should come home and wrote another, this time, completely mad e-mail that i would be on my way back.

Even through all the insanity and my sleepless drive back i cant help but remember the one time while it was late at night, with a cloudless sky in the middle of nowhere Indiana, no lights anywhere around me and nothing but stretches of farm land... i cant help but remember how beautiful it was.

Anyways, i got back to my parents house late on Sunday night, slept all day Monday, found GA meetings to go to Tues and Wed and am now back at work this morning, which i am lucky to still have waiting for me.

Kim still has not talked to me and i was instructed to go to my parents instead of going home, but i understand what ive put her through, not only during this hiatus, but in the last 2 years as a whole and i know she is completely within her rights.

It is nice to be back and to have issues out of the bag with regards to my parents, who really want to help. I miss my dogs, but i can only blame myself and must live with the consequences.

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference."

Thanks again for everyone's help. I know i can fix things and get over my problems with the help of family and friends and whether you want to be or not, you all qualify for the friends category.

I'm glad you came back, man. No matter what other problems you might be dealing with, we're all just glad you're safe and on the road to turning things back around.

I hope you can find a way to stay involved with the church you were attending or a different one.

We're all here for you!

Sounds like you're already on the right track and seeking help for your problem. That Gamblor is a fiend.

Good to have ya back, buddy.

Flirting with alcoholism and embracing the pasttime of whore mongering are so much more fun. Though in the end, it all requires medical attention.

Thanks for letting us know, Flip, I know it's not easy to tell us all what's going on. I really do hope you'll be able to get things back together. It's not easy, but it sounds like you've made a start.

Nice to see ya back, man. Take care of yourself and everything will work out fine. We're here if you need anything

Addiction is a demon bitch goddess. Good luck beating yours, dude, and I hope things start picking up for you. I'm glad you're okay.

Good to know you're safe now and seeking help. It sounds like you're on the right track. Feel free to holla if you need something.

The wife will come back around, I'm sure. You may have to take some well-deserved smacks though. I'm also considering sending Kupek up there to perhaps put you in the triangle and choke you out for good measure. We'll see.

Regardless, welcome back dude! I hope things get better for you soon...

Welcome back. I hardly know what to say, but know that if you need anything, I will always be more than happy to listen.

I've had many problems with addictions myself. It does get better. Just hang in there man!