The Shrine

so my last few months have been all fucking over. the girl everyone told me to forget I didn't. Things got better for awhile and she broke up with her current BF to try me out again, and we had sex 2 times after all the drama. Then school started again and she went into uber berserk school mode and i was left by the way side. We were getting our friendship straightened out and then out of nowhere we have a convo the other night about how she cannot even deal with me as a friend because of the guilt associated with me wanting to hang out with her sometimes, and her being way to busy. Fuck she is a 2nd year in college and wants to double major and double minor and do it in 4 years, what more can I expect. I hate what she has become in the last year, she was so much more fun last year when she was dating me and only doing one major. The worst part is she wants to go to law school, but I know she does not have the personality for it, mine is a better fit than hers. Fuck.... I am finally in counseling for many of my issues, turns out most of my stuff revolves around watching my father’s multiples sclerosis as I was growing up and how the verbal abuse played into it. Yay self-esteem being shot down by a man I love because of a disease he had no control of, or the frustration associated with it.

I want instant results but counseling is going to be a long road and it sucks a lot. I want this girl back in my life, but now she totally wants me out of it. I think she cares about me more than all of her class work and the easy kill is getting me out of it. What do I k now, I’m drunk...

Women tend to change their minds as often as the weather changes here in STL. She's afraid of not amounting to anything and she's freaking out by thinking school is going to help her establish her career if she kills herself during the 4 year period. Only if she can establish a 3.5 in market where there is an actual demand AND finish law school, she'll still likely end up as a Clerk for a law firm 5 years after that.

College makes you naive to the fact that buisnesses want you. They don't. They want experience more than pieces of paper saying "You Passed". Don't try to explain that too her because she'll likely kick you out completely. But maybe that's what needs to happen.

I'm on the road to recovery a bit. For some reason it doesn't hurt as much as it used to. I'm finally to the point where I'm looking at women and actually thinking they are better than my ex for certain reasons. For example, there is this girl I bumped into and had a pretty good conversation with friday night after the hockey game. She's about 5'2" a natural brunette but has her bangs dyed blonde and the rest of her hair is red. She's a piano player and very creative and passionate about what she's doing. Last night I ran into her again, though she was with her mom so I didn't want to turn on the game. I don't think she remembers my name but she kept talking to me about how Nashville has her intials ( I was watching the Blues game and NSH are her intials). But the point is, I talked to her, she's adorable, and I feel I might have a chance since her best friend is the bartender and I'm usually up there on the weekends anyway.

Just takes some time and it happens when you least expect it.

Anarky, Barret, I apologize for not being drunk for this post (I'll post something drunken later) but....

The way I see it, neither of you have it particularly bad. Now I realize that neither of you are going to take my advice right away, but put some thought into it, and even listen to what othes say. The saying "there are millions of fish in the sea" really holds true. Think on it this way: both of you had great girls (I assume), unfortunately the world does not revolve around an imaginary perfect story. That perfect story, just forget about it, it doesn't really matter in the long run; trying to live it will ultimately just fill a man full of a feeling of illacomplishment, and therefor disatisfaction. Though looking on the bright side, you got hot chicks (I think), and you can do it again. Don't expect the next one to work out the way that you want it to (remember to just forget about that story) just let it flow naturally and enjoy the ride.

Lost one, catch another. Everyone in this world is a human being, there is no telling how special anyone is until a relationship of a sort is formed with them. Until that point, everyone is just a face, when a relationship of any sort is formed, they'll become important. It is all a matter of perception on things.

So my advice, go out and enjoy life. Don't be shy to talk to women or have fun with them. Treat them as though their company is enjoyed, and that you want to have fun with them. Afterall, women are eople too just like everyone else, and I doubt that either of you are hideously deformed or anything (you got great chicks before, you can do it again). So just go out and live =)

You don't have to listen to me, I just go on what I have learned, others might have better ways. I can just say what works for me. I hope if you look at life this way that it works out for you too.

Drunken Seeker to post by Thursday =)

The Seeker wrote:Anarky, Barret, I apologize for not being drunk for this post (I'll post something drunken later) but....

The way I see it, neither of you have it particularly bad. Now I realize that neither of you are going to take my advice right away, but put some thought into it, and even listen to what othes say. The saying "there are millions of fish in the sea" really holds true. Think on it this way: both of you had great girls (I assume), unfortunately the world does not revolve around an imaginary perfect story. That perfect story, just forget about it, it doesn't really matter in the long run; trying to live it will ultimately just fill a man full of a feeling of illacomplishment, and therefor disatisfaction. Though looking on the bright side, you got hot chicks (I think), and you can do it again. Don't expect the next one to work out the way that you want it to (remember to just forget about that story) just let it flow naturally and enjoy the ride.

Lost one, catch another. Everyone in this world is a human being, there is no telling how special anyone is until a relationship of a sort is formed with them. Until that point, everyone is just a face, when a relationship of any sort is formed, they'll become important. It is all a matter of perception on things.

So my advice, go out and enjoy life. Don't be shy to talk to women or have fun with them. Treat them as though their company is enjoyed, and that you want to have fun with them. Afterall, women are eople too just like everyone else, and I doubt that either of you are hideously deformed or anything (you got great chicks before, you can do it again). So just go out and live =)

You don't have to listen to me, I just go on what I have learned, others might have better ways. I can just say what works for me. I hope if you look at life this way that it works out for you too.

Drunken Seeker to post by Thursday =)

I wasn't drunk on that one Seek. And I think I am taking your advice now. Just gotta let go.

you gotta be sad sometimes when a girl you really put a lot of effort and feeling into just goes away.

Also, I heard this mad quotey jokey thing on the ol' intertron yesterday.... "I wish my lawn was emo so it would cut itself"

GOLD

Good advice Seek

Yea, my situation is nutty, she talked to me this morning and apologized. I kinda had a feeling she was just upset from a bad week, and I was right. As far as what she feels for me, she doesn't even know...

I've stopped worrying about it as much as I was and am rolling with what life presents me. The counseling is starting to show some results.