The Shrine

Knock knock

Oh hi, how's it going? It's me! Every girl ever. I'm really looking forward to this date. I'm not nearly as attractive as you remember me being because when we met the bar was dark and you were drunk. Come on in.

Let's start off with the unavoidable tour of my incredibly typical post-college-girl apartment.

You'll notice that I went ahead and purchased everything that Ikea and Pier 1 have ever produced. There's my decorative birdcage over there even though I don't have a bird, and there's my gay wicker basket with bamboo poles in it. I don't know what the hell that's thing's all about, but I bought it.

Hey check it out, I have more candles in here than a Roman Catholic Church. Doesn't it smell like Hazelnut!? If I were to light all of my candles at once you could see my apartment from space! I fucking love candles!

Come on into the living room.

Oh, I see you met my cat there. That's "Freddy Paws Jr." Why don't you pet him and act like you like cats even though you hate cats? There you go. Oh, he took a little swing at your eye there huh? Yeah, he'll do that. Hey, let's check out the kitchen.

Hey look at my refrigerator. There are pictures all over it! Look at all these pictures of me and my equally vacuous friends from college! We were so crazy! You can tell we're really good friends because our faces are all pressed up against each other like that.

And check it out, we're holding up alcoholic beverages to the camera in every single picture. That's to prove that we were partying. College was so fun! But of course I don't talk to any of these girls anymore because now they're all bitches.

Let's go back into the hallway!

Hey, before we leave I'm going to go in the bathroom for ten minutes for some mysterious reason. Why don't you sit awkwardly in my big, stupid, round papizan chair over there while you wait for me. It's like you're sitting in a hug! Be right back...

Sorry that took a half an hour, I don't know what the hell I was doing in there. Let's go!

Wow! Thanks for opening my car door for me! I'm totally going to blow that meaningless gesture out of proportion and delude myself into thinking that you're a really good guy because that's what I want to believe.

Well, here we are at the restaurant. No thanks waiter, I don't need to see a menu, just bring me some expensive things. Hey I know, while we wait, I'll tell you all about my unspeakably boring job. I hate my boss. He's a jerk! I might get another job. Maybe something in pharmaceutical sales.

Now let's talk about my family. I love my family. I want you to love my family. I want my family to love you. I want you to make love to my family! I want you to go golfing with my semi-retarded brother Travis. That would be so God damned cute!

Wow! I can't believe I ordered all this food! I have no intention of eating any of it. No thanks waiter, we don't need a box. Just throw it out.

Hey, I've got an idea, let's go to a bar and have an after dinner drink! It'll be great, it will be just like how we're drinking here, only it will be louder and we'll have to stand up. Come on!

See, isn't this better? Oh hey, what a coincidence. Look over there! It's a group of my friends that I knew was going to be here. Let's go over there so that they can judge you!

Hey, I have to go to the bathroom for a half an hour again for some reason. You can stay here and talk to my unbelievably hideous friend Christine! Christine's so ugly she scares kids! Talk to her! She has a job and a family that she wants to talk to you about too. Be right back.

I'm back! Sorry I was gone for three hours, there was a line. I want to go home now.

Well here we are at my door again. This was really fun for me and not you. You should pretend like we're going to do it again sometime! Maybe I'll see you at Target a few months from now and we can avoid eye contact because you never called me. Here, have this awkward goodnight kiss that's as empty as my soul. Good night!

Prime reason why searches based on interests from a database of millions of people is infinitely better than searches based on a subsection of women who hang out in bars on a regular basis.

I think I should start a dating website that only has women who hang out in bars just to expand upon this joke. Maybe one of the requirements should be that you have to be drunk to enter the website. Then you can look at pictures of ugly and/or shallow chicks that hang out in bars.

I find this funny because I just had my first date tonight with a girl I met on Craigslist and it went fantastic Already have 2nd date set up for Saturday

Tessian wrote:I find this funny because I just had my first date tonight with a girl I met on Craigslist and it went fantastic Already have 2nd date set up for Saturday

So did she give you one of those frequent diner cards? You know she'll scratch off a number till your 9th date then you get a free one? Just like starbucks?

Couldn't resist.

truth be told I had a hookup on Craigslist. I ended up finding out we had mutual friends and we had met a few months prior at a party

I'm just going to ignore Barret's asshole comment

The first time I used craigslist I found my ex... obviously that's not saying much at this point but we did last 7 months so that should count for something. It's still the best personals site I've found by far (as long as you're not looking in the Casual Encounters section, of course). Santamatch, Match, Chemistry, eHarmony, fuck all of them. They charge stupid ass large fees and no one ever replies-- I prefer the personals posting format like this rather than the static info cards. Yes you have to wade through a lot of spammers and fakes, but there are legit, decent people who do visit the site (last night proved that). I refuse to try dating at a bar, hell I rarely like bars to begin with, and since I may very well be the youngest in my office by a few years (some small woman in HR may have me beat) the 'net is pretty much the only place I can turn to.

Tessian wrote:I'm just going to ignore Barret's asshole comment

The first time I used craigslist I found my ex... obviously that's not saying much at this point but we did last 7 months so that should count for something. It's still the best personals site I've found by far (as long as you're not looking in the Casual Encounters section, of course). Santamatch, Match, Chemistry, eHarmony, fuck all of them. They charge stupid ass large fees and no one ever replies-- I prefer the personals posting format like this rather than the static info cards. Yes you have to wade through a lot of spammers and fakes, but there are legit, decent people who do visit the site (last night proved that). I refuse to try dating at a bar, hell I rarely like bars to begin with, and since I may very well be the youngest in my office by a few years (some small woman in HR may have me beat) the 'net is pretty much the only place I can turn to.

I met my current squeeze on match.com. Yes I paid for it but after a lot of no replies from the free sites (IE Myspace, Craigslist, santamatch, okcupid) and the feeling of getting scammed by one of the big name dating sites (IE E-harmony, yahoo personals) I went back to Match.com. I joined about 3 months after my ex and I called it quits. After a year though and almost nothing to show for it (except being $60 poorer) I decided not to renew my account. Of course, since I really really didn't care anymore since my account was going to expire, I started sending messages to just about every girl I thought was attractive. Nothing more than 3 sentences just asking them to check out my profile. About 6 replies later I'm meeting her for drinks at a popular bar.

Online dating I think is better in a lot of ways. You can tell if the person can actually put together coherent thoughts by how they represent themselves when they type. You can see if you are interested/compatible by their likes and dislikes, and it's almost a worry free environment.

I'd do it again if I needed to.

@Tessian,

You know you like it!

Sine stalked me on Yahoo. lol He found my profile on there and it had a link to my personal homepage. Of course I hadn't updated it in like 3 years, so it had me listed as being younger than I actually was.

I have had a very long string of dating failures since about August (which was the end of the last real exclusive relationship I have had), maybe I should try the online thing?

Dutch wrote:I have had a very long string of dating failures since about August (which was the end of the last real exclusive relationship I have had), maybe I should try the online thing?

It's worth a shot if you are looking for a long term relationship.

Barret wrote:

Dutch wrote:I have had a very long string of dating failures since about August (which was the end of the last real exclusive relationship I have had), maybe I should try the online thing?

It's worth a shot if you are looking for a long term relationship.

Or short term... there's always the Casual Encounters section of CL lol

Last year when I was getting desperate I joined Match.com... then less than a week later I found my now-ex on Craigslist. What was worse was that I forgot to cancel my subscription, so I got it with the fee again in March after I had totally forgotten about that... boy was I pissed.

But yeah Seek, you might as well give it a shot... nothing to lose. I would just every now and then post something on a Saturday afternoon and talk to whoever replied that night. It helps to be specific about what you're looking for (like spelling out that you want someone from age range X-Y, they need a job, a car, etc) or you will get a LOT of losers looking to mooch. Last night after I returned home from my date I had another reply waiting in my inbox... girl goes on to explain how she doesn't meet ANY of the criteria I asked for, but that she was cool anyway so I should email her. I'll give the girl points for trying... but that's kinda odd to do.

Tessian wrote:

Barret wrote:

Dutch wrote:I have had a very long string of dating failures since about August (which was the end of the last real exclusive relationship I have had), maybe I should try the online thing?

It's worth a shot if you are looking for a long term relationship.

Or short term... there's always the Casual Encounters section of CL lol

Last year when I was getting desperate I joined Match.com... then less than a week later I found my now-ex on Craigslist. What was worse was that I forgot to cancel my subscription, so I got it with the fee again in March after I had totally forgotten about that... boy was I pissed.

But yeah Seek, you might as well give it a shot... nothing to lose. I would just every now and then post something on a Saturday afternoon and talk to whoever replied that night. It helps to be specific about what you're looking for (like spelling out that you want someone from age range X-Y, they need a job, a car, etc) or you will get a LOT of losers looking to mooch. Last night after I returned home from my date I had another reply waiting in my inbox... girl goes on to explain how she doesn't meet ANY of the criteria I asked for, but that she was cool anyway so I should email her. I'll give the girl points for trying... but that's kinda odd to do.

So did you post a pic or just do the pic for pic deal?

Anarky wrote:

Tessian wrote:

Barret wrote: It's worth a shot if you are looking for a long term relationship.

Or short term... there's always the Casual Encounters section of CL lol

Last year when I was getting desperate I joined Match.com... then less than a week later I found my now-ex on Craigslist. What was worse was that I forgot to cancel my subscription, so I got it with the fee again in March after I had totally forgotten about that... boy was I pissed.

But yeah Seek, you might as well give it a shot... nothing to lose. I would just every now and then post something on a Saturday afternoon and talk to whoever replied that night. It helps to be specific about what you're looking for (like spelling out that you want someone from age range X-Y, they need a job, a car, etc) or you will get a LOT of losers looking to mooch. Last night after I returned home from my date I had another reply waiting in my inbox... girl goes on to explain how she doesn't meet ANY of the criteria I asked for, but that she was cool anyway so I should email her. I'll give the girl points for trying... but that's kinda odd to do.

So did you post a pic or just do the pic for pic deal?

I didn't even mention pics in my post (although I did post a Caturday picture, haha) just that I wanted to talk on IM that night. With the girl I'm seeing I don't think we traded pictures until the next day. It's a good indicator of a person's priorities as to how quickly they ask to see a picture. I've had girls IM me and say "Hi got a pic?" and I just ignored them. Physical attraction is important, but far from the most important.

Barret wrote:Of course, since I really really didn't care anymore since my account was going to expire, I started sending messages to just about every girl I thought was attractive. Nothing more than 3 sentences just asking them to check out my profile. About 6 replies later I'm meeting her for drinks at a popular bar.

You know, I don't know how to take that. Are people really this shallow? No hits for an entire year, but you advertise to hot chicks and you get a hit?

Sometimes I wonder if people truly are looking for relationships or just somebody to "hang out with". This is why the divorce rate is 75%.

Barret wrote:Online dating I think is better in a lot of ways. You can tell if the person can actually put together coherent thoughts by how they represent themselves when they type. You can see if you are interested/compatible by their likes and dislikes, and it's almost a worry free environment.

Yeah, but from what I can tell, it has a long way to go. There just isn't enough there to try to really match people up with their "soulmate" and there's still too many people trying to lie to their profile as if they are beefing up their resume. Mathematically speaking, there are millions of people who have enough common interests and personality traits that it shouldn't be any problem matching people up. But, the site needs to be popular, and the way of matching people up needs to be accurate.

Seraphina wrote:Sine stalked me on Yahoo. lol He found my profile on there and it had a link to my personal homepage. Of course I hadn't updated it in like 3 years, so it had me listed as being younger than I actually was.

Though, I have to say that Yahoo sucks as a people search. It's just that I had the idea that since my friend was doing pretty good meeting people on AOL, I figured I could do the same thing on some free site.

Not to say that I'm not happy with my results, but it just wasn't popular enough.

I would theorize the divorce rate is higher because people no longer feel as obligated to stay in a marriage relationship. Examining the facts of our history: people used to be more religious, it was sinful to divorce, people didn't want to divorce because it was a black mark on them socially; these things are much less of a factor nowadays, it's in our culture, just watch Seinfeld =)

Dutch wrote:I would theorize the divorce rate is higher because people no longer feel as obligated to stay in a marriage relationship. Examining the facts of our history: people used to be more religious, it was sinful to divorce, people didn't want to divorce because it was a black mark on them socially; these things are much less of a factor nowadays, it's in our culture, just watch Seinfeld =)

While your examples aren't the best... I agree with your reasoning. It is MUCH more acceptable today to get divorced than it was even 30 years ago. The internet's not responsible for this, just for making it easier for people to meet that otherwise wouldn't.

And yes Sine, there are many fakers and liars but anyone with half a brain can spot those a mile away. What good does it do to lie about yourself to a potential date? Either you'll drive yourself insane trying to keep all the lies straight and them convinced them, or they'll find out the truth very quickly. You're trying to find someone who's compatible with you to pursue a romantic relationship with... you're a freakin idiot if you think that'll happen by being untruthful from the start. So if anything, people lying, exaggerating, and generally being stupid makes my life easier because I can see and push those people aside quickly and find one of the few genuine ones.

SineSwiper wrote:

Barret wrote:Of course, since I really really didn't care anymore since my account was going to expire, I started sending messages to just about every girl I thought was attractive. Nothing more than 3 sentences just asking them to check out my profile. About 6 replies later I'm meeting her for drinks at a popular bar.

You know, I don't know how to take that. Are people really this shallow? No hits for an entire year, but you advertise to hot chicks and you get a hit?

Sometimes I wonder if people truly are looking for relationships or just somebody to "hang out with". This is why the divorce rate is 75%.

Actually, I should have phrased this better looking back at your response. The reason why I didn't care anymore wasn't because I was just "looking for someone to hang out with" but more about self-confidence and acceptance of rejection. It's going to happen. To quote the great one "You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take." so this was me taking more shots and not being shy/hurt by not getting a response from just one well thought out response.

Also, it wasn't just that I sent messages to the women whom I thought were physically attractive, I sent messages to women who I enjoyed reading their profiles and pictures.

Seraphina wrote:You can pick me up at 8

"If you are in a good relationship, you're bored out of your fucking mind. All good relationships are boring, all the exciting relationships are bad ones.

You never know what's gonna happen tomorrow when you're in a bad relationship. You never know when you walk through the door and hey you gave me crabs. That's exciting. I wanna know what tomorrow's gonna bring.

Those are choices you got in life, man. You could be married and bored or single and lonely. Ain't no happiness nowhere. Married and bored or single and lonely. That's right, that's right. Marriage is a boring ass shit. Cause once you're married you gotta hang around with other married people and that's just disgusting."

Seraphina wrote:You can pick me up at 8

Other than the pregnancy thing, which I KNOW my wife will take to the extreme, I'm so happy my relationship is essentially nothing like that. That video was depressing.

that video was awesome.

I am going to install an above-ground pool, just to spite that video!

Zeus wrote:Other than the pregnancy thing, which I KNOW my wife will take to the extreme, I'm so happy my relationship is essentially nothing like that. That video was depressing.

Oh please. You know you're bored just like the rest of us. I enjoy my boredom, because at least I can lay on the couch and post messages.

SineSwiper wrote:

Zeus wrote:Other than the pregnancy thing, which I KNOW my wife will take to the extreme, I'm so happy my relationship is essentially nothing like that. That video was depressing.

Oh please. You know you're bored just like the rest of us. I enjoy my boredom, because at least I can lay on the couch and post messages.

You would think, but not very much. I mean yeah, I am a human being and familiarity, particularly after 10 years, will lead to some level of boredom. But it's pretty muted with us. And anyone who knows us knows that nothing is "normal" with our relationship (I know you guys woulda figured that :-). That to me is a good thing 'cause I find a lot of "normal relationship stuff" to just be fucking ridiculous. I'm just amazed I found a woman who thinks sort of along the same lines. I was very lucky.

Zeus's wife's biggest turn on is watching him steal Xbox Live cards out of games at EB. They fuck like rabbits behind the store afterwards.

THAT is how they've kept the spark going

Its nice to hear your relationship is going well Zues. Personally I am starting to wonder if the odds are stacked against me and others to be in a successful long term marriage like some of our parents. Ideals have changed greatly in the last few decades. Many of us are still are in this perma adolescence/adulthood, and thats not changing. Maybe its technology, maybe its the breakdown of the American family. My sister is 26, married, and about to have her 1st child. Honestly I don't see myself settling down for another 3 years, and I am damn sure not going to jump into marriage or kids. I used to think I really wanted to be married and have kids but thats been changing lately. I've talked to teachers in the current schools and I would be afraid to let my kids be around others. Literacy and parent involvement in this country is a joke. My friends mom was telling me that in her class most of the kids were several years behind their reading level and only 2 were above it.

Maybe I keep dating losers and my outlook is bleak but you can't tell me shit is not fucked up.

Tessian wrote:Zeus's wife's biggest turn on is watching him steal Xbox Live cards out of games at EB. They fuck like rabbits behind the store afterwards.

THAT is how they've kept the spark going

Hey, now, I ask permission of the managers before I take them........

Not that it's still not intoxicating and great for my sex-life :-)

Anarky wrote: Maybe I keep dating losers and my outlook is bleak but you can't tell me shit is not fucked up.

Oh, I completely agree that shit is fucked up. That's why I consider myself so lucky to find a woman who thinks along the same lines I do when it comes to things like marriage, relationships, family, etc.

I think you did touch on something that's very important. It started with maybe my generation and it's getting more prominent with each subsequent generation. What you're finding is not just a delay in what I would call "mental maturity" (just to separate it from physical maturity) in people but an alarming trend of a complete lack of it. And the percentage is just growing each year.

This is far different that being "an eternal child". If you guys ever meet me in real life, you'll find that I'm a very silly person who's constantly joking around in a silly, almost childish way. I like video games and buy all of the Disney movies the day they come out and even like to hotbox my wife whenever I can :-) And a lot of times I get accused of being "immature" by people who don't know me.

But it's not about what you like to do or what your personality is, it's about how you handle things. Being responsible, not throwing temper tantrums when you don't get what you want (kind of like Alfuckssen does), understanding that a relationship is lots of work and not running (divorcing or breaking up with the g/f) when the going gets tough....these things seem to be going the way of Manfarb's hetrosexuality. It's like people can just get through life without ever having to deal with things in a mature manner.

I ain't limiting this to any race or socioeconomic status. I work in an office where there are many professionally designated people and I can tell you, this place is like being all in high-school again. You have to care about how you look and what others think of you and the popularity thing is big......are you fucking kidding me? Pathetic.

Take it out of the workplace and you get the same thing in so many social settings. Remember all that bitching I did about cellphones? That was more about how the people were using them than the device itself and an extension of the lack of maturity. Talking LOUDLY on a bus while peopel were sleeping, going 12km/hr in the left lane while they're talking...selfish acts (selfishness is the main sympton of this diseas) that eliminate basic social consideration of others. If you did it years ago you'd be ostracized. That's a sympton of the overall lack of maturity disease.

I could go on forever with examples but you get the point. Take it to relationships and what do you get? People who won't/can't stay together 'cause they have 1 fight, people waiting a VERY long time to get married, poorly raised children due to selfishness of the parents...it ain't good.