I Invented the Moon

[Sassafras]

Here is a very funny craigslist ad. Enjoy:

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/chi/942873935.html

[Zeus]

Some great ideas for my next resume :-)

[Mental]

That dude ought to apply to work for the Onion. Good shit.

[Tessian]

I just found this to be the best part, below in bold:

SHIT I HAVE DONE
-I invented the moon.
-Atlantis was around til 1988, but sunk when I shot out of my mom's vagina like a silver bullet into a wolverine.
-I am also a wolverine.
-Had sex with the Spice Girls.
-The blowjob machine was originally my idea until that bastard Clint Eastwood stole it.
-I have prophetic visions of the apocolypse.
-Watched the movie "Juwanna Mann" at least 18 times. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0247444/
-Created a new genre of dance in which people get so into it that radiation waves pulsate off of them, I like to call this the microrave.
-I reverse engineered a door, I now know how it works.
-When I was 8, a frisbee flew into my backyard and I blew it up with my mind.
-My brother is the Eiffel Tower
-Direct descendant of Beowulf
-Can make weapons out of anything, very useful in a hostile work environment
-Beat my pornography addiction when I was 19
-Proficient in Microsoft Office and Photoshop

And wait a sec... he was born in 1988? That means this kid is 20...fuck you kid!