The Shrine

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shawinigan_Handshake




That picture (as I'm sure you all know well) is of your former Prime Minister, Jean Chrétien, using a chokehold on anti-poverty protester Bill Clennett back in 1996. Clennett accosted Chrétien on the way back to his limousine, so Chrétien choked him from the back of the head and front of the neck, threw him to the ground and broke a tooth.

So, my question is: how come none of our Presidents have ever gotten to do something that cool? Chrétien looks like Darth Vader lifting that guy off the ground. Do you have remixes of Chrétien going "Is Jean Chrétien gonna have to choke a bitch?" and etc.

Chretien was fucking awesome, that's why. The reason why the American President doesn't get these kind of shots is because he has a security entourage twenty times tighter than the fucking Pope. No one can get. Close to Obama. With good reason too, judging by past people who held the job, being the President of the US is a fucking dangerous job; you have everything from political assassins to insane Jodie Foster fans trying to kill the guy. Of course, Chretien would never have such problems, he would quickly locate the assassin, get the drop on him, snatch his rifle and beat him to death with it; after crushing his voicebox with his bare hands, and kicking his nuts into his throat where they will be squeezed.

We had no one like Snipes here. We paid our taxes, not because elwe felt obligated to, but because we were fucking afraid of Chretien!

Not a joke: I went to middle and high school with Chrétien's niece.

Did she have Force Powers too?

Here is Chretien clowning about the incident with a young fan, holding him by around the neck as if to choke him. Are you Canadians absolutely sure that you are the meek and friendly nation we routinely make you out to be? I mean, between this and hockey...

No person would ever get that close to your president. That was not a good day for the Canadian secret service.

Besides, none of your presidents were actually real men like our resident Leonodis. They were all pansy momma's boys :-)

Zeus wrote:Besides, none of your presidents were actually real men like our resident Leonodis. They were all pansy momma's boys :-)

Did your president parachute his way into North Korea, gun down anybody that was in his way, and bag a few Asian chicks?

No? I didn't think so. Shut your goddamn mouth about our presidents. (Except Bush. You can talk trash about him all you want.)

SineSwiper wrote:

Zeus wrote:Besides, none of your presidents were actually real men like our resident Leonodis. They were all pansy momma's boys :-)

Did your president parachute his way into North Korea, gun down anybody that was in his way, and bag a few Asian chicks?

No? I didn't think so. Shut your goddamn mouth about our presidents. (Except Bush. You can talk trash about him all you want.)

When Chretien was 11, he parachuted into Berlin and took out Hitler and his SS guard with his bare hands. He then proceeded to impregnate millions of women in celebration creating what came to be called the Baby Boom. Did your Prime Minister do that?

No? Didn't think so.

SineSwiper wrote:

Zeus wrote:Besides, none of your presidents were actually real men like our resident Leonodis. They were all pansy momma's boys :-)

Did your president parachute his way into North Korea, gun down anybody that was in his way, and bag a few Asian chicks?

No? I didn't think so. Shut your goddamn mouth about our presidents. (Except Bush. You can talk trash about him all you want.)

Let us take a look at the presidents of the last 40+ years, shall we:

1) JFK: try and tell me this guy was more than a playboy......
2) LBJ: he was a hard-headed Texan and I don't know more than that. Was he a war guy?
3) Nixon: not too many fond memories here. Lifetime politician, no? (I'm asking)
4) Ford: a footnote at best.
5) Carter: bleeding-heart Liberal. Accomplished a lot of great things and my fav
6) Reagan: a fine actor but nothing more than a figurehead who wouldn't even remember the second half of his presidency
7) Bush Sr.: by FAR the most accomplished of any president or prime minister that I know of in terms of military service. He was a great pilot.
8 ) Clinton: draft-dodging waste of skin and bones
9) Bush Jr.: see #8

Now it's not like our prime ministers were too much better in that time period. I think the only one of your pres' who would physically choke a protester would be Bush Sr and maybe LBJ.

Of your pres', I would only really rate Carter as a president worthy of praise. And there's not exactly a great track record there over the last nearly 50 years. Nothing you guys had would touch Trudeau, that's for sure.

Zeus wrote:1) JFK: try and tell me this guy was more than a playboy......

Ummm...the moon? We went to the fucking moon for this guy. He was the Obama of his generation. I have to be critical of his handling of the Cuba Missile Crisis and starting the Vietnam War, but at least he had an exit strategy.

Zeus wrote:2) LBJ: he was a hard-headed Texan and I don't know more than that. Was he a war guy?

Was he a war guy? Jesus, man, don't comment about shit you don't know. Yeah, he was a war guy. Fucked up the Vietnam War the worse. If JFK was still alive, he would have pulled out of the war during his term.

Zeus wrote:3) Nixon: not too many fond memories here. Lifetime politician, no? (I'm asking)

A paranoid shithead who should have died in jail. Ironically, he was the one who stopped the Vietnam War. Hunter's rants about the guy are probably the best critique of him.

Zeus wrote:4) Ford: a footnote at best.

Yeah, and probably forced to pardon Nixon.

Zeus wrote:5) Carter: bleeding-heart Liberal. Accomplished a lot of great things and my fav

He did a lot for foreign policy, but he fucked up some serious issues, too. Republicans love to cite his mistakes. However, he has done a lot after his presidency.

Zeus wrote:6) Reagan: a fine actor but nothing more than a figurehead who wouldn't even remember the second half of his presidency

Try telling that to the Republicans. The guy seems to be revered like some sort of god, even more so than Obama, it seems like.

Zeus wrote:7) Bush Sr.: by FAR the most accomplished of any president or prime minister that I know of in terms of military service. He was a great pilot.

I hated his conservative policies, especially fucking up the War on (some) Drugs beyond reason, but in hindsight, I would have taken 8 more years of him than his fucking son.

Zeus wrote:8 ) Clinton: draft-dodging waste of skin and bones

You're going to have to explain this one. I mean, who gives a shit if he dodged an immoral draft for an immoral war?

Sine, we were arguing about the manliness of them presidents, not what they did during their presidencies. It wasn't nearly that sophisticated a conversation :-)

Hey, you started it. You seriously think Carter is a "manly" president?

Chretien also defended himself against an armed assassin, Chretien with only with a small Inuit statue.

Chretien also personally coerced the leaders of the rest of the world to recognize Canada as the best country in the world during his reign.

SineSwiper wrote:Hey, you started it. You seriously think Carter is a "manly" president?

No, I was actually referring to his humanitarian efforts in that last sentence. He's actually one of the few politicians who I think is worth of any kind of praise whatsoever considering what he's done after his presidency. Too nice of a man and cares far too much for people to be involved in politics.

The only part of that entire post that wasn't about a pissing contest :-)

This post has been corrupted by political debate. It was only intended to highlight what a scary fucking badass Jean Chretien is.

Seek, as someone who follows such things, give me your opinion on Putin vs. Chretien. That would be a hell of a cage match.

Tupac Seekur wrote:Of course, Chretien would never have such problems, he would quickly locate the assassin, get the drop on him, snatch his rifle and beat him to death with it; after crushing his voicebox with his bare hands, and kicking his nuts into his throat where they will be squeezed.

By the way, I have to say this was awesome. Especially the last part of the last sentence.