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Ok I'm fucking happy I have to post it here. I just got an assistant coaching job with the local junior hockey team... Not only that but I am a writing tutor now as well. hell yeah. 2 jobs I'm good at....well at least the writing p
PostPosted:Wed Jun 30, 2004 10:45 pm
by Derithian
<div style='font: italic bold 14pt ; text-align: center; '>Ok I'm fucking happy I have to post it here. I just got an assistant coaching job with the local junior hockey team... Not only that but I am a writing tutor now as well. hell yeah. 2 jobs I'm good at....well at least the writing part. the hockey one I got no clue how it will go....go americans</div>
PostPosted:Thu Jul 01, 2004 1:02 am
by Eric
<div style='font: 11pt ; text-align: left; '>:) Congrads bro.</div>
Why dont you ever post some of your writings? I'd be inetersted in reading them.
PostPosted:Thu Jul 01, 2004 8:40 am
by Flip
<div style='font: 12pt "Cooper Black"; text-align: left; '>because your posts are usually a drunken mess.
Congrats on the jobs, by the way.</div>
PostPosted:Thu Jul 01, 2004 11:16 am
by Lox
<div style='font: bold 9pt ; text-align: left; '>Cool. Congratulations. And I agree with Flip. Post some stuff!</div>
Yes well as you see I couldn't leave you guys. Hell outside of the times when we are being fucking ass hats to each other this place has always been grand. Oh yeah agent 57.... a small compliment and critique for you....
PostPosted:Thu Jul 01, 2004 3:34 pm
by Derithian
<div style='font: italic bold 14pt ; text-align: left; '>Oh yeah I will post a few stories here for you guys to chech out. and if anyone has some webspace that I could put up some of my stuff so you can check it out and read some decent stuff and go over rough drafts it would be grand. The first thing I will post is a short story I wrote for a contest that had to be 50 words or less. I won $100 with the thing so it's something I am proud of. I'll also post all the things I did for my fiction writing class.
Oh yeah Agent, I read through your story thing and it's really well done. I do have one problem with it though. Have you ever heard of a semi-colon. because you seen to use a "-" instead of a ";" or "," in a lot of places. But it was a very good piece of work....You actually brought a very dead history to life and actually reading this then playing FF1 made it a better game. Weould make a kick ass video game too.
well I'm out.....it's good to be back.....and how bout my actually readable text mow......no more center bolded italics for me</div>
Hey, thanks, man. Always nice to hear somebody enjoyed my story. Regarding the critique...
PostPosted:Thu Jul 01, 2004 4:16 pm
by Agent 57
<div style='font: 9pt ; text-align: left; '>Yeah, you're right. There's actually a lot of things I don't like about the writing style and punctuation when I read it these days, especially the first couple of chapters (which I wrote when I was 18, as opposed to the final ones which I wrote when I was 22).
In the time since, I've learned a lot more about the proper use of punctuation and my writing style has matured; however, I don't have the time or inclination these days to either a) rewrite the whole freaking thing or b) redistribute it once I do. Especially since if I tried to rewrite it, I'd end up adding a ton of extraneous crap to flesh out the tiny opening chapters and spend hours racking my brains to come up with a satisfactory conclusion to the whole Johann/Haywa thing and it would take forever. So, it yis what it yis. =)
I've actually had a couple people write me and ask if they could use the story and make a game out of it, then never heard from them again. Oh well.
Thanks again,
<i>-57</i></div>
PostPosted:Thu Jul 01, 2004 7:03 pm
by Derithian
<div style='font: 12pt ; text-align: left; '>I actually thought the early chapters were some of the best. I think it was the 3rd - 5th. you did some really good fleshing out of characters in those 3 chapters....</div>
PostPosted:Fri Jul 02, 2004 10:18 pm
by Derithian
<div style='font: 12pt ; text-align: left; '>Plus when they are fighting the pirates at the start you use a fantastically good sentance with "Wrinn got a bird's eye view of what his enemy ate for lunch" and a few other of your action destriptions. but that one right there is fantastically good.</div>