The Shrine

I've been AWOL for sometime, most of you probably haven't noticed but well, for those of you who do care or just feel like helping a naive 22 year old out be my guest with this... Flash back 2 weeks ago (wednesday 16th)

Joe is home on springbreak, gets new contact perscription and gets dental appointment taken care of. Night before got drunk with my buddy Don (no relation to shriner). Wednesday night went out for drinks again with my buddy Jason (mutual friend of M'k'n'zy and I) got wasted went back to his place with his girlfriend got into a political debate about Gay marriage/union and why girls feel the need to fake it during sex (score one for guys, we got her to shut up when we brought it up why they do it, they can't give you a straight answer!). Brings us to Thursday, St. Patty's day, sick a dog I still went out and consumed endless amounts of beer at the parade in Dogtown (neighborhood here in STL, known for it's bars and irish people) hit on my friend Amanda shamelessly at a bar near my house till she left with another guy. Jealous and drunk, dialed just about everyone in my phone book, went home, Manda calls my cell at least 10 times to figure out where I was. I pass out around 5 after wandering around the block trying to find my cat and being stopped by a cop (how the fuck did I not get arrested?).

Friday, still drunk, all animals accounted for at my dad's house. Text message Amanda to tell her I blacked out drove home and passed out in my bathroom. Cat is driving me nuts because I'm allergic, can't stop blowing my nose. March Madness began the night before and I was going strong until my friends Don and Mike show up and Syracuse loses. We play poker and my other friend Mike shows up since I drunk dialed him, his mom, and his other phone number the night before. Night doesn't end till 4, no booze for me.

Saturday, I clean up, pack up to get ready to go back to school. Still slightly suffering from the cat. Car gets washed and fueled up. Room is cleaned, fantasy draft starts for baseball which I did rather well on, and then my friend Amber comes in town and we hang out. After a trip to the mall, a home cooked me with mom, we head to the movies, see Hitch (great film) and head to the bar I used to work at for 2 beers each, drive home, watch another film, end up making out and then some.

Sunday, Amber leaves. I'm exhausted from the night before and last night's events still. I leave my mom's at 7 and get back down to cape at 9.

Monday is uneventful, school, then work.
Tuesday I start feeling ill again, can't sleep.
Wednesday, ill, skip last two classes, attempt to sleep.
Thursday, miss morning class, drive home to play demoltion man at my mom's Two family apartment. My friend Austyn calls me, go over to his new girlfriend's place to paint, start feeling ill, amber calls, on the phone till one in the morning, she won't date due to distance, still single, 2/2 on one night stands.

Friday up at 6:45 to meet people at 7 to move Liz to her new house. 4 loads with a U-Haul, work till 5, start feeling sluggish again mid-day. Pass out when I get home, illness strikes with fever.

Saturday, no help, still ill.
Sunday, try to go back to cape, but can't drive, still ill.
Monday, parents think I have mono, go to doctor, find out I have tonsilitis, left tonsole looks like a golf driver only red and full of puss.

Tuesday e-mail professors, amber calls again (this has been a daily occurance btw since we slept together) feel like I am about to die. First night where I get more than 2 hours of sleep uninterrupted. Sweat through my sheets and clothing, twice...

Wednesday, today, wake up at 10, feel better not quite 80%, check phone, message from the fling (Ashley) on new years. Deleted her number before Valentines day, citing same issues I'm dealing with amber with (mainly distance, she says also her emotional 'baggage' will 'ruin my life'). Call parents, tell them I'm going back to cape tomorrow.

Here is my questions...

Why is Amber still calling me if we can't date and are too far away to be real friends? (she's about 4 hours south of STL, 6 1/2 from Cape). If a woman talks and no one is around to here it is she...(never mind)

Why, out of the blue, does the fling (Ashley) leave a message? She's not happy when I'm around, and she's mad when I'm gone usually. Told her want I wanted out of our relationship and basically left it at that and went on my merry way when she couldn't decide because of her bullshit reasoning (see Jason's girlfriend comment above, or to quote Brittany Murphy "I'll never tell").

Why couldn't I have mono so I could just stay home, avoid the rest of the semester and be done with it?

Conclusion: Women are full of shit, and we love them for it. Why??????

PS: sorry Serph.

Why is Amber still calling me if we can't date and are too far away to be real friends? (she's about 4 hours south of STL, 6 1/2 from Cape). If a woman talks and no one is around to here it is she...(never mind)

She slept with you.

Why, out of the blue, does the fling (Ashley) leave a message? She's not happy when I'm around, and she's mad when I'm gone usually. Told her want I wanted out of our relationship and basically left it at that and went on my merry way when she couldn't decide because of her bullshit reasoning (see Jason's girlfriend comment above, or to quote Brittany Murphy "I'll never tell").

She probably wants to be with you and is mad at herself for it. She was probably feeling sorry for herself and thought about and gave you a call.
I only read so much about the Ashley person so I dunno whats goin on there.

Why couldn't I have mono so I could just stay home, avoid the rest of the semester and be done with it?

Yuck, you do NOT want mono.

Conclusion: Women are full of shit, and we love them for it. Why??????

Funny...women say the same thing about guys.

PS: sorry Serph.

It's ok

Heh, and this is from the guy who didn't think I could make a clean break from the girl I last saw. I haven't talked to her since my last post.

Women do this to us for a number of reasons:

A) a lot of them are really quite insecure, but pretend otherwise even while needing constant affirmation from Males.

They enjoy fucking with our heads

C) An amazing ability to delude themselves into thinking they want 1 thing one moment, and then the next some crazy women logic* pops in and they don't anymore

D) They may be more like guys than we'd like to admit. Namely, to mess around and pretend to do girlfriend/boyfriend for a bit. Fuck around and call it a good time with no strings attached.


* Women aren't logical, ever. Period.

Seriously, aside from the illnesses you've been suffering what's the problem? You have a girl willing to hang out with you once in awhile, have a good time (and then some) and you don't have to put up with the girlfriend shit? Kick Ass Mate! After my latest fiasco, I have 2 arrangements set up like this myself. Hook up roughly twice a month with both of them, and best of all they call me.

Spring is here, women abound and get frisky in the newfound warmth just like us males do. Enjoy it. Don't let the mental shit get in the way.

It's not really the mental shit, it's making sure there is no mental shit to deal with my friend if I want to make out like a bandit like you are (OH PUNS ARE FUN!). Clean break was made with Ashley, simple "cut-you-off-from-contacting-me" attitude. Amber's the odd situation since she's the only woman I've slept with that decides to call me back.

It gets a bit messy because Ashley, for one of your 4 reasons I presume, decides to get it in her head that she either needs to fuck with me, or has genuinely found out that I ain't that bad of a guy for her after all. How does one approach that situation? Still we're going after the former here, she's just fuckin with my melon, so I'm not really in the mood for dealing with her, nor am I healthy enough to deal with her physically. But I can't ignore the situation since even though I ended it, I did so with regret.



Part II

Also forgot to bring up that I have had a long time crush on my friend Amanda, who is friends with my friend Don (yeah, no relation, still a cool guy though) who keeps asking me why I haven't hooked up with her yet. This leads me to believe that he knows something I don't.


Now, by no means do I want my cake and to eat it too, I know I cannot do so, but I'm having a tough time sorting out all of these signals. Why can't women just go right out and say "Hey, this is what I want." like we can do? It would make life so much simpler and the cut to the chase would be...well...a lot quicker.

She's not crazy but she's mostly what I am not. Outgoing, fun, loud...she's kinda the one who likes to be the center of attetion where I'm the guy who is on the outside looking in. That probably gives you all sorts of compatability issues but still, the time we had was fun (christmas break, New Years) but I wanted more and she cited reasons which I believe to be FUBAR as to why she could go no further than being just the four letter word (Cake [the band] rules btw). So I'm kinda off balance because the same words* that came out of Ashley's mouth also came out of Amber's mouth and maybe it's because they are both from the same town in Ill. but I can't figure it out. Either way I think it's a line of crap and the whole thing about the nice guy finishing last well, it's so wrong, but then again I guess that's life right?


*Words = "We couldn't ever do anything because of distance, my emotional baggage, and you are too good for me." Ain't that a line of crap?

My advice is to figure out what you want and if you want to date one of these girls, tell her. No subtlety, no innuendo, straight up tell her. If she does more of the "I want to date you <i>but</i>" crap, forget it. It's not worth the grief. To me, that's a clear sign that she has issues she needs to work out. She might be a fantastic girl, but at the moment, she will probably be bad for you. But then you also have to make it clear: no more hooking up, because from where I'm standing, it's screwing with your head.

Girls are no more confused or screwed up than guys are; talk to any of your female friends and I'm sure they can give you long lists of guys fucking with their heads. It's just that we're <i>all</i> blind and clueless and end up hurting each other until we figure out how relationships are supposed to work. (And I'm including myself here.)

Guys = logic
Girls = rhetoric

I also think that it's much easier for a guy to fuck with a girls head because of these qualities. The woman, she thinks she is getting her way, but that is only because we let them believe that is the case =)

YEa well, I just fucked up a 12 year relationship with my best friend over a girl, and they aren't even going out anymore! (and no, I didnt fuck her). Try wrapping your head around that one :p

I just love it when girls try to keep shit from me now. It just isn't going to work. After the fuckups I've been through I'm now a master of the said & the unsaid.

Ask Seeker, I figured out who he was in Utopia right quick without a word from him about the Shrine. I'm like Batman now, but without the cool belt.

But to Barret. Kupek has the right idea. If you are into Amber or this Amanda just get it out. One way or the other you'll clear the air and be able to move on. If you think some baits being thrown your way, why not bite at it? Especially when your friend Don is pretty much telling you too from what you say. Have at it.

hit on my friend Amanda shamelessly at a bar near my house till she left with another guy.

Gee, isn't that the answer to that one? Solved another one, Batman?

Gray's train of thought: "Man, this new guy in my Utopia Kingdom, he seems like just about the biggest asshole in the world..... Hmmmm..... Wait a minute, I KNOW the biggest asshole in t he world!!!!!!....."

MSG New Player "Hey, I know who you are, you're the Seeker!"

Sine, alright you can be my Robin.

I don't wanna be your Robin! Damn queer ass...

I've been using Kupek's logic for awhile now and it has patched my situation. The reaction I get is the same in 2 out of the 3 cases "I'd date you but..." so I'm really leaning towards just finding someone new entirely now since the summer is rolling around and I should be over this fucking illness by my friend's birthday party next weekend. Either way, Oracle, you stole my thunder you bitch, and I just did wrap my head around your dilemma. We're both screwed when it comes to this, so how bout we go get some drinks and chase some ass?

Barret, get a friend you trust to set you up with a girl. I think in a lot of cases people don't pick the right sorts of girls for themselves, why not let someone who has a better sense for these things do it? Make sure it's a guy who sets you up (and one who already has a girlfriend and good taste in girls), girls are never good at these sorts of things.