You can't go home again...

[EsquE]

What fucking moron said that?

So here I am, working a lonely weekend shift at work, bored completely out of my mind. Just wandering the internet in a desperate attempt to keep my mind functioning. I finally just give up and resign myself to staring at the walls for another 4 hours.

In the process of said staring, my mind wanders into the past and I remember a little hovel I used to call home way back when you couldn't pry me offline with a goddam crowbar. Unless it was to play whatever new RPG just came out for the PSX. A little place called The Otherworlds Shrine...I started remembering names and conversations...people I'd called friend and just completely lost touch with because, well, I simply didn't care for the internet all that much anymore...G-Man, Zeus, Sine, Sabin, Agent 57, Gentz, Klu, WolfSamurai, Don, AK, Mental, Lox...christ, I got hit with a wave of nostalgia so hard it almost hurt...

The place has changed a bit...I kinda dig phb so that's not so bad. I'm used to it from internet porn sites...hey, I may not be a net addict anymore but I'll be damned if I'm giving up the porn...I'm a bit older, a lot more bitter & jaded, but quite a bit more centered. Personal life is 50/50...job is great, love life sucks (yay porn!!)...

So I said to myself at work last night, "Self, it might be time to go home again." So here I am. I'm just hoping I'm still welcome...and I really didn't realize how much I missed you guys until I found you again.

Here's to coming home again...

[Lox]

Welcome back! As soon as I saw a post from you, I was like "Where the heck has he been hiding???"

Glad you found the place again.

Let's see...of the ones you named, the following are still around:
me, Agent 57, Sine, Mental, Gentz, Zeus, Don, AK(I think)

Those who aren't:

G-man, Sabin, Klu, Wolf

So that's not bad.

So what's up?

[EsquE]

Not much...most of my time is spent working. 12 hour days, 6 days a week usually. It sucks, but then I realize I'm making way more money than my fucking boss, and it's all happiness again. It also keeps me from even thinking about a personal life right now, which is a good thing. I work, I check my email, I sleep. Planning on buying a house sometime this year, which will be very cool...and I'll be paying for most of it in cash, which is very very cool. So, while things haven't been the greatest, there's lots of thing going right for me...

So howzabout you? Kinda lost touch when I finally gave up on ICQ. Just too much spam, and too many people I no longer wanted to speak to...

[Tortolia]

He's alive!

[Nev]

Welcome back EsquE! Truthfully I don't remember what we talked about, but I remember being upset that you'd left; I was always upset to see someone I considered an effective and bright communicator leave the board that I founded. (I suppose someday I ought to give up that whole paternal feeling thing, since after about a year and a half I wasn't much but a deadbeat dad...but it's so hard...*sniff*)

BTW, Klu shows up from time to time, the way I did for years. I wish I knew where G-man had gone off too...he was another original that I was sorry to see go. I'd invite him back; I wasn't around for his departure, it was something politics-related I think. I hope we've all grown some since then. I never talked to Sabin much - Wolf took off in a haze of depression one day, now that you bring it up I'm a tad worried about him...

Anyway, I digress. Welcome "home", most definitely.

[M'k'n'zy]

Welcome back man!

[EsquE]

Welcome back EsquE! Truthfully I don't remember what we talked about, but I remember being upset that you'd left; I was always upset to see someone I considered an effective and bright communicator leave the board that I founded. (I suppose someday I ought to give up that whole paternal feeling thing, since after about a year and a half I wasn't much but a deadbeat dad...but it's so hard...*sniff*)

BTW, Klu shows up from time to time, the way I did for years. I wish I knew where G-man had gone off too...he was another original that I was sorry to see go. I'd invite him back; I wasn't around for his departure, it was something politics-related I think. I hope we've all grown some since then. I never talked to Sabin much - Wolf took off in a haze of depression one day, now that you bring it up I'm a tad worried about him...

Anyway, I digress. Welcome "home", most definitely.

Well, don't tell Sine but I'll always consider this to be "your" place...I don't remember much of what we used to talk about either, but I can guarantee it was a looooong conversation. At least back in the day I don't think either of us were much for the "No Text" posts...I could write about pretty much anything (games, politics, movies) for hours. I don't think I'll ever have that much passion again. I gave up trying to make the world better awhile ago, and just worry about my own little corner of it now.

I miss those days...

[Flip]

Good to see you. Many changes, yes, but still the same good 'ol place where we can talk games and whatever else crosses our paths.

"Postong random shit since 1997", indeed.

[SineSwiper]

Wow, what a sight for sore eyes! Good to see you back, man. I certainly hope that you're going to be posting regularly again. I kinda hated the fact that you'd pop in, post a message, and pop out again. I'm like "Hi, hey... errr... damn, where'd he go?" Kluya tends to do that most of the time, but I noticed that he posts a little more than usual nowadays. Kali O off and on.

Well, don't tell Sine but I'll always consider this to be "your" place...I don't remember much of what we used to talk about either, but I can guarantee it was a looooong conversation. At least back in the day I don't think either of us were much for the "No Text" posts...I could write about pretty much anything (games, politics, movies) for hours. I don't think I'll ever have that much passion again. I gave up trying to make the world better awhile ago, and just worry about my own little corner of it now.

Heh, funny. I consider it my place, and Mental as an older regular that has started posting again (sorta like you). I guess it's just because I hadn't seen him post for a long time and now he's back.

People who have disappeared:

GMJ - Left a year ago. I think this was somewhat of a spat between me and him. I'm not sure of the details, but it had to have involved me in some way. In some ways, it was nice to see him post some jokes and the like, though for the most part, I'm glad he's gone. I can already notice the Shrine being more stable without his presence. He really knew how to ruin a sensible conversation, and end it with "Oh, I was just joking" or something similar. Seeker has his moments, but for the most part, he can actually bring up some good conversation quite often.

Sabin - No clue. I haven't seen him in a long while. Probably since the 2001 forum reload, since I can't find him in the history.

Kluya - He's actually still around. Pops in from time to time.

WolfSamurai - Left the shrine about two years ago because of issues between him and Seeker. Near the end of it, they were both IMing me about the other's stupid comments. I wasn't about to take sides on this one, so I posted the IM logs from both of them just to get them to shut up. It was probably a bad move on my part. WolfSamurai posted some angry shit on various forums and left. A few people have IMed him a couple of times, and he told them to fuck off. I blame myself, Seeker, and his anger management problems. (He was going through some bad shit in his life anyway, as far as I know.)

Crono - Mysteriously disappeared over a year ago. Last post was in Feb 2004.

Deadite - Dunno. GMJ may have pissed him off with his constant vegan jokes.

ak404 - He is around, but posts very very seldomly. I wish he was more of a regular. You and AK both have good conversations. Of course, he seemed to have that Silent Bob atmosphere, where he'd pop it, post one profound comment, and leave.

Slappy White/El Kabong - I miss these guys. Slappy had a lot of similar tastes in music, and introduced me to a lot of good electronica groups. El Kabong had some good gaming posts, and posted about sports a lot.

Nadia/Red Leader - Red Leader was more of a Nintendo fanboy than Zeus and Seeker put together. I think he left (and by default, she) to find a more "Nintendo-friendly" forum, even though we have plenty of Nintendo support here.

err...forget her name - There was a Wicca chick that posted here for a while (with his boyfriend), and they both left because of some argument on Ruminations.

Rhfactor - Left a long time ago. Not sure why. She had some interesting conversations at times. Probably too busying being a lawyer right now.

[Zeus]

Always wondered what happened to ya. Where ya working?

Now I can finish convincing you that FF7 was a true disappointment :-)

BTW, all of our (well, mine, anyways) IM info is down below

[Don]

Does this mean we get more guys on the nostaglia sucks camp now?

[Julius Seeker]

"Seeker, and his anger management problems."

What?! I am the most laid back guy in the f***in' world! =)

Anyways, yeah, I kind of remember you (Esque), but I don't think we really had any conversations before. I usually just stuck to Gamethought and Sports until recently when I started posting a lot on Daily Stuph and M&M (Sports forums kind of died).

As for G-man, I think he left because he felt like everyone was against him or something; personally I think he just took himself a little too seriously, which was surprising, I always thought he was a fairly laid back guy himself; he proved me wrong.

Sabin and Viper, I had some nice conversations with them; I still remember the arguments I had with Viper which lasted months.

Nadia posted here a few months ago to visit; I still talk to her now and again just to say hi, nothing major.

Mana, I don't know what's become of her. She's the only one here who actually knew me in real life, well, she had heard of me through other people and local newspapers and such (I used to get in the paper a lot for hockey, rugby, basketball, track and field, and non-sports related stuff); and knew a few people that I knew as well. I don't think we actually met before though.

Crono, he used to be this place's top poster, now he's gone.

Speaking of being a top poster, that is why I want the word count thing installed here; because I think about 20% of the words written in these forums have come from me =)

Also, Don, he was #2 or #3 for amount of words, this post count thing does no justice dammit! =P

[Eric]

I'm still here! *Thunder crackles*.....well damn, I'm not that bad. >_>

[Imakeholesinu]

I was trying to think of who hasn't posted in awhile like 2 or 3 weeks ago and your name crossed my mind. Hope you enjoy the new layout. Nostalgia does suck, since I was a pretty big shit back in the day. Welcome back.

[Oracle]

There's a name I haven't seen in a while. Welcome back, Esque.

[Andrew, Killer Bee]

You fucking rock, dude. I'm glad to see that you're posting again.

[EsquE]

Well...that's a lot to take in...

Sine - Heh, it's good to be back. I was in a weird place for awhile there and posting here was something I always wanted to get back to doing regularly. But every time I tried, something would get in the way. I really hope I'm back here full time now...

Shit, I'm gonna miss G-Man...I know he could be irritable, but we go a looooong ways back...to the EGS/Sega Saturn boards. I really miss Klu and Wolfie too...gotta try and track Wolfie down. I still have his Christmas card...sucks that things went down like that..if you're lurking dude, give me a shout.

Crono...well, no matter where he is, he'll be at the center of it. Never thought you could actually feel enthusiasm in the written word until I came across him. Jeez, if I get weepy I'm gonna smack myself...

AK...I bow to his intelligence...another person I could spend a week just talking to non-stop. Slappy and El Kabong...how could I forget them. I do remember Red Leader and Nadia...and I remember how much of a Nintendo bashing moron I could be, which is funny now considering how much I love my Gamecube...

RhFactor...I still plan on marrying that gal...I really miss her. She will forever be in my heart for getting me my copies of Guardian Heroes and Christmas Nights...

Zeus- You know damn well you'll never convince me of that....greatest...RPG...EVER!!! I'll toss you on my MSN Messenger the next time I remember to open it...I'm still bad about shit like that...

Don - Nah, I'm totally into the nostalgia thing right now...my Sega Genesis has been getting more play than just about anything lately...and I still scour EBay for games for it now and then...nostalgia only sucks for real life shit...the past is cool for remembering, but living there is no fun...took a long time to learn that...

Seeker - Heh...I mostly remember you as someone who could get under my skin pretty easily...I think we had arguments instead of conversations. Sabin and Viper were two really cool guys...I really miss Sabin. And it's my own damn fault for losing touch...they also go way back to the EGS boards...first board I ever really posted on...Mana...if it's the same Mana I'm thinking of, well, some shit went down on the old Lunar Thread and at RPG Fan that left me far from liking her...which sucked since her boyfriend was a great guy. I miss the Lunar Threads too...and RPG Fan...I'd never do reviews again,but I should probably poke my head in over there...haven't spoken to Rudo in ages...glad he's still steering that ship proudly...heh, back in the heyday I was the king of total words per message counts...Don and I were insane with that shit...

Eric - You're still here, and you still rule dude. I haven't forgotten you...

Barret - Heh, haven't forgotten you either...the new layout is fine...I've grown fond of phb...and "No Text" messages had kind of gotten out of hand...

Oracle- Wow, another blast from the past and a name I'd almost forgotten...good to be back...

Andrew- Are you the same Andrew whose last name I used to enjoy completely butchering? I recall him being from Australia...

If not, heyas, nice to meet ya!!

[Ishamael]

Hey dude, glad to see you wondered back in here. As far as why some of those people aren't here, I'm pretty sure we lost a few people during some of the Shrine outtages back in the day. Things are way more stable now though.

Glad to hear things are going well for you. Don't worry about the love life. I think I'm convinced that women are not worth the trouble. But my penis disagrees and since he makes all the major decisions, I'm pretty much stuck doing as he says. Once you get the cash coming in, then the love life will "mysteriously" seem to appear. Or maybe that's my cynical, SoCal voice talking.

[EsquE]

Hey dude, glad to see you wondered back in here. As far as why some of those people aren't here, I'm pretty sure we lost a few people during some of the Shrine outtages back in the day. Things are way more stable now though.

Glad to hear things are going well for you. Don't worry about the love life. I think I'm convinced that women are not worth the trouble. But my penis disagrees and since he makes all the major decisions, I'm pretty much stuck doing as he says. Once you get the cash coming in, then the love life will "mysteriously" seem to appear. Or maybe that's my cynical, SoCal voice talking.

Heh, I'm pretty much off "real" women for the time being...I've got enough to juggle as it is...the porn keeps the commander happy so that he doesn't drag me into any kind of trouble with the girls at work...I'll worry about that when I've got my life settled and my mind centered...

[SineSwiper]

"Seeker, and his anger management problems."

What?! I am the most laid back guy in the f***in' world! =)

Actually, I meant Wolfie's, not yours.

Nadia posted here a few months ago to visit; I still talk to her now and again just to say hi, nothing major.

Eh? Was that Resin?

Mana, I don't know what's become of her. She's the only one here who actually knew me in real life, well, she had heard of me through other people and local newspapers and such (I used to get in the paper a lot for hockey, rugby, basketball, track and field, and non-sports related stuff); and knew a few people that I knew as well. I don't think we actually met before though.

Yeah, that's right. Who was her b/f? I forgot him as well.

Speaking of being a top poster, that is why I want the word count thing installed here; because I think about 20% of the words written in these forums have come from me =)

Also, Don, he was #2 or #3 for amount of words, this post count thing does no justice dammit! =P

Actually, I think Don has everybody beat in the words category. I'll put in the score eventually. Just not quite in the mood to be doing patches right now. (Need to find an easier way to do them; plus I dunno when V3 is coming out.) And I still have some work here.

Crono was one of the biggest posters, but next to me, GMJ was #2. Nobody beats me, though. Hell, nobody beat me when Mental had the shrine, too.

Don - Nah, I'm totally into the nostalgia thing right now...my Sega Genesis has been getting more play than just about anything lately...and I still scour EBay for games for it now and then...nostalgia only sucks for real life shit...the past is cool for remembering, but living there is no fun...took a long time to learn that...

Met an old friend of mine, and we were playing Bubble Booble on the Dreamcast (NesterDC), as well as a few other older NES games.

[Derithian]

hey what about me on all your lists....I'm gonna go cry in the corner....then I might eat a taco....I'm in the mood for a taco....good to have you back oh former lord of the sexy avatar

[Tortolia]

I miss the Lunar Threads too...and RPG Fan...I'd never do reviews again,but I should probably poke my head in over there...haven't spoken to Rudo in ages...glad he's still steering that ship proudly...heh, back in the heyday I was the king of total words per message counts...Don and I were insane with that shit...

From the looks of it RPGFan is still going strong. I did stuff for them on and off and eventually drifted away in 2002. I think it might have been personality conflicts with a few of the eds, but it could have just as well been me getting lazy about writing, particularly once I commited to a weekly column for 'em. Then again, it also grated to be one of the seemingly half dozen PC gamers at the site (as a whole) and it got a bit old to essentially have no audience for the things I was writing.

Perhaps I'll wander over to their boards sometime this week. I toss the idea around in my head now and again.

[Zeus]

RhFactor...I still plan on marrying that gal...I really miss her. She will forever be in my heart for getting me my copies of Guardian Heroes and Christmas Nights...

Zeus- You know damn well you'll never convince me of that....greatest...RPG...EVER!!! I'll toss you on my MSN Messenger the next time I remember to open it...I'm still bad about shit like that...

Yeah, she's my gal too. Got me my copy of Radiant Silvergun with the reg card and the spine card for $35 from her (it's worth no less than $175 now on Ebay). On top of that, it's the greatest shooter ever (Ikaruga is a close second and one everyone who has a GC should get). She also sent me Deep Fear (Saturn survival horror) and Macross: Superdimensional Fortress (Saturn) for $15 each. She was also a smart gal and we had fun conversations. My wife woulda liked her :-)

Once you give me your MSN, we'll see if I can't convince you. You're stubborn, but you'll eventually see the light :-)

[Lox]

Not much...most of my time is spent working. 12 hour days, 6 days a week usually. It sucks, but then I realize I'm making way more money than my fucking boss, and it's all happiness again. It also keeps me from even thinking about a personal life right now, which is a good thing. I work, I check my email, I sleep. Planning on buying a house sometime this year, which will be very cool...and I'll be paying for most of it in cash, which is very very cool. So, while things haven't been the greatest, there's lots of thing going right for me...

So howzabout you? Kinda lost touch when I finally gave up on ICQ. Just too much spam, and too many people I no longer wanted to speak to...

Lots of change for me in the last few years. I graduated college, got a job working for UPS doing QA/Programming. I'm engaged as well but not to anyone on this board. Getting married next May. My life is busy busy busy now. I bought a house last year and I've been super involved at my church ever since 2002. But life is great. Glad to see your back and all too.

[Lox]

err...forget her name - There was a Wicca chick that posted here for a while (with his boyfriend), and they both left because of some argument on Ruminations.

Rhfactor - Left a long time ago. Not sure why. She had some interesting conversations at times. Probably too busying being a lawyer right now.

Yeah, that argument in Rum with her. I remember that partly because I was very very deeply involved in it. Heck, I don't even remember what it was about but I do remember being really nasty to her. Looking back at things like that makes you go "What was wrong with me???" Growing up can be the most painful when you look at how you used to be. heh

RH was cool. I remember her. I didn't know her too well but she was nice.

[the Gray]

Ahh, it's so good to just lurk indefinately and post once in a blue moon on something of import.

Other names I'll throw out there to see if anyone has any info on them.

HappyBoy? Had some great conversations with him back in the AD days, and early Shrine time. No idea where the guy is at now. Wasn't he a NY'er?

Acidlover. Just remember some whacky crap from that guy.

Black Lotus. I think he still lurks, I know I still meet him on Halo 2 once in a while.

I like the background. I can pop back in after layoff's and not get noticed.

[Julius Seeker]

He posts about once every 2-3 weeks. Usually no more than a line or two though.

[Manshoon]

Yeah, that's right. Who was her b/f? I forgot him as well.

Slerbik was the name. Don't ask me how I know that, I just have a penchant for picking up on the tiniest of details.

Couple of other people who've disappered are Blademaster Lee and Second Impact, co-authors of SpoonyInc. Oh yeah, there's S.Cody, another guy who came over from MTH and had a big mouth on him.

Btw, welcome back Esque. I always enjoyed reading your essay posts on games, even if I wasn't always responding to them.

[Sephy]

No one ever remembers me

I guess that means I should post

[Blotus]

Welcome back, fucker! I'd like to chip in on this big nostalgiafest, but the recent years of gas huffery and glue sniffing have left my head an empty shell.

You were on Broadway for a bit, eh? Cats, was it? Whatever, welcome back. Now dish with the porn links.

...and make with the slutty sigs.

[EsquE]

Welcome back, fucker! I'd like to chip in on this big nostalgiafest, but the recent years of gas huffery and glue sniffing have left my head an empty shell.

You were on Broadway for a bit, eh? Cats, was it? Whatever, welcome back. Now dish with the porn links.

...and make with the slutty sigs.

Heh...you I've probably known the longest...what was it? PSX Nation? Anyone that still calls me "Pete" I've known way too long...

And the rest I forgot...forgive me, I'm old...nice to see y'all again...

[Torgo]

Some other people who've disappeared are Drexle/Nemissa, Red Eye and Dragonfly. I haven't seen Baldarov too much either, but he seems to pop up every now and then.

Acid Lover is Gentz, which explains the wackiness .

[the Gray]

Acidlover is Gentz? Why the hell didn't I know this!

[Kupek]

Acidlover is Gentz? Why the hell didn't I know this!

Massive conspiracy.

[Nev]

Welcome back, fucker! I'd like to chip in on this big nostalgiafest, but the recent years of gas huffery and glue sniffing have left my head an empty shell.

You were on Broadway for a bit, eh? Cats, was it? Whatever, welcome back. Now dish with the porn links.

...and make with the slutty sigs.

Heh...you I've probably known the longest...what was it? PSX Nation? Anyone that still calls me "Pete" I've known way too long...

And the rest I forgot...forgive me, I'm old...nice to see y'all again...

That's right, you were Pete Wisdom, right?

And I did not know that particular fact about Gentz. Hmmm. Explains a lot.

[Julius Seeker]

Here's another one.

Arioc was Gray.

[Zeus]

So was Malhavok

[Imakeholesinu]

How can you be off real women? I mean? Seriously? WTF?

[Julius Seeker]

Well women = good. There is nothing better than getting a nice looking lady into the sack and raising the temperature of the room to equatorial African climate.

Though relationships suck. In fact, I would go on record to say that only about 5-7% of women are even datable. I would say that a good 35% are bangable though, sometimes more depending where you are, most times less. I think Toronto actually is the most bangable city in North America, of the places I have been. I might have just been at the right place at the right times, but I think Denver ranks up near the top as well. Certainly much prettier girls than say, Detroit or Pittsburgh =P

[Zhuge Liang 2]

Holy Crap! Pete Wisdom is back! I can bother him about Bob Dylan song interpretations and he can politely humor me again! Or not. Good times back then. Glad to hear you're doing well.

[Torgo]

Pete Wisdom is Esque? That I didn't know.

[Lox]

Soylent green is people? I didn't know that!

[EsquE]

Well holy shit if it isn't Zhuge Liang...loooooong time my friend. And you can bug me about Dylan lyrics anytime you want...just let me get high first.

And Barrett, it's very easy to be off real women, at least in terms of a relationship. The last thing I want right now is any kind of relationship...doesn't mean when I'm at the bar on Friday I'm not looking for something to fuck...but any romantic notions about ladies I know and like, I'm trying to ignore those...as for how long I can keep that up since I hate one night stands and am a romantic at heart, god only knows...

And yes, I was Pete Wisdom, a looooooong ass time ago. Though I may have briefly posted here under that name for some bizzarre reason that may have made sense at the time...the only pseudonyms I've ever used online are "KoRn", "Pete Wisdom", "EsquE" (or Tobias Esque), and lately I've been using "Philemon" in various places....

[Imakeholesinu]

I tried it for a couple months, then I met someone. I thought you meant as if you weren't going to put yourself out there for a night of mind boggling sex with an anonymous STD free partner. That's what I thought you meant anyway. Just as long as you are still playing the game then that's fine, and so is your sig pic.

[Blotus]

Who is that broad, Pete?

[EsquE]

Who is that broad, Pete?

Eva Longoria...she's on the show Desperate Housewives (and is the only reason to watch that show)...

She makes my bulbous protrusions tingle...

[Julius Seeker]

None.

[EsquE]

Shazaam baladam caladamn fuck she,.

Never a good idea to post while intoxicated...

Go play a racing game...playing racing games while loaded is a blast. Just avoid any FPS's because you will puke your guts up...

[Nev]

LOL. Drunk driving in a legal way!

Someday I still want to take shrooms or drop acid and then try to play an RPG...

[Julius Seeker]

I was too drunk last night (first time in quite a while that I have been to that state). I guess I must have found my way to my computer and this is the only site that I go to regularly, soo.... Anyways, I think I got rid of most of the drunken nonsense that I posted.

Speaking of playing videogames while under the influence; we had like 14 people sitting around and watching melanie play Earthbound, she was at the part with Master Belch, and made it from there, to Saturn Valley and through to Fourside. I think it fascinated a few of the people, but when Courtney walked in from outside I think she wondered "what the fuck?"

Anyways, there were a lot of parties everywhere, and we went out to the bars a bit later. Came back, and somehow someone convinced me to play streetfighter Alpha 3, and so we did that for like an hour, and the whole time I couldn't get my vision strait, reaction time blew, and I was seeing double blurry vision. Anyways, I woke up, puked my guts out, and I can't say I'm feeling very well right now, this is one of the only times ever where my body rejected alcohol in this way; maybe I am out of practice; I need to drink more =)