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Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter

PostPosted:Mon Dec 31, 2007 9:17 pm
by Tessian
Anyone else seen this... gem? I found it on Netflix and decided to watch it tonight.... talk about a bad B movie.

Jesus Christ comes back to earth to fight the growing vampire threat. Terrible acting, horrible choreography, just plain awful music and voice syncing... hilarious.

"Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter is a 2001 cult film from Odessa Filmworks which deals with Jesus' modern-day struggle to protect the lesbians of Ottawa, Canada, from vampires with the help of Mexican wrestler El Santos"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesus_Chri ... ire_Hunter

PostPosted:Tue Jan 01, 2008 11:32 am
by SineSwiper
Jesus Christ? Check.
Vampires? Check.
Lesbians? Check.
Lucha Libre? Check.
Canadian humor? Check.
B-rated director? Check.

I think they have covered all of their bases.

PostPosted:Tue Jan 01, 2008 12:26 pm
by Tessian
But god was it bad... since almost the entire movie was shot during the daytime obviously daylight wasn't an issue for vampires... except when Jesus eclipsed the sun and shot some light out of a hole in his chest-- then they all turned into dust. Or he killed one with his garlic breath! He breathed heavily on one and then they had a minute long flashback to him eating some very garlicked meal.

His parents also talked to him in the form of LSD-like hallucinations. God talked to him as a talking bowl of strawberry ice cream.

The one thing that sucked was the amount of UNNECESSARY footage! If they took out all the scenes that do NOTHING for the movie (like various shots of Santos and his companion getting out of a damned plane) it would have been 50 minutes instead of 80.