Battle Royale II
PostPosted:Mon Jan 07, 2008 1:02 pm
I had heard BR2 was not nearly as good as the first. I still thought I'd give it a chance, as some (few) people on IMDB thought it was worth a watch.
What a fucking mistake.
Apparently the movie's director died early in filming and his son took over. Okay, fine. Has this guy directed anything other than a model train set before? To be perfectly blunt, this movie is a cinematic ABORTION.
Spoilers from here on in, but if you haven't seen the movie: DON'T BOTHER!
So instead of the intriguingly perverse premise of having the kids kill each other with random weapons like in the first movie, each kid this time around is armed with an assault rifle and full battle gear. They're tasked with hunting down Shuya Nanahara, the protagonist from BR1, a quiet little orphan turned INTERNATIONAL TERRORIST.
The kids are shuffled from the orientation room, put on speed rafts, and shipped off to Shuya's terrorist syndicate's (Wild Seven) island of operations with the task of eliminating Shuya. What follows is an absolutely retarded rip-off/parody(?) of Saving Private Ryan's Normandy beach scene, complete with the same shaky-cam techniques.
To make things even dumber (making teenagers take down such a dangerous terrorist on foot instead of just bombarding the island-- WHICH IS WHAT HAPPENS ANYWAY), the kids are paired with their counterpart of the opposite sex so that if one of them dies, the other's explosive necklace will... explode. Also, the game features the same "danger zones" idea that the original movie did, but it only comes up once in the whole movie, and is retarded anyway as the mission is a point A to point B relay. So essentially the government is using these kids to kill Shuya, but is making it even harder on them by using ridiculous restrictions.
Shuya and his band of tweenage terrorists have constructed an EMP to disable the explosive tracking necklaces. Wha?
Shuya himself is some sort of Jedi Jesus freedom fighter who goes on these, just... appalingly stupid monologues. In one televised address to the world, he DECLARES WAR ON ALL ADULTS (and ends the address with "Melly Krissmass")! This, from what I understood, causes the USA to tell the Japanese Prime Minister that they're going to bomb the island, so the PM orders the military to wipe out Shuya and the remaining BR2 participants who have joined his cause. So there's a lot of shooting, and Shuya, Kitano's daughter Shiori (Kitano being the instructor from the first movie), some other dildo, and the rest of the kids waste a whole bunch of soldiers... and then the island gets bombed to hell.
But Shuya and the other dildo survive and move to Afghanistan or something, where Shuya meets Noriko (BR1) again.
Oh yeah, and the instuctor for this one shows up around the end dressed in a rugby uniform and tells Shuya, Shiori, and dildo that he always wanted to play rugby with them before diving across the room with the kid's blood-soaked rugby ball as his tracking necklace explodes... I don't know why he has one. I guess he won a BR game once and forgot to ask them to take it off.
It's also needlessly long and extremely pretentious. I don't even know why I kept watching the bloody thing until the end. It was like vomiting into a pile of shit and then rolling around in it.
What a fucking mistake.
Apparently the movie's director died early in filming and his son took over. Okay, fine. Has this guy directed anything other than a model train set before? To be perfectly blunt, this movie is a cinematic ABORTION.
Spoilers from here on in, but if you haven't seen the movie: DON'T BOTHER!
So instead of the intriguingly perverse premise of having the kids kill each other with random weapons like in the first movie, each kid this time around is armed with an assault rifle and full battle gear. They're tasked with hunting down Shuya Nanahara, the protagonist from BR1, a quiet little orphan turned INTERNATIONAL TERRORIST.
The kids are shuffled from the orientation room, put on speed rafts, and shipped off to Shuya's terrorist syndicate's (Wild Seven) island of operations with the task of eliminating Shuya. What follows is an absolutely retarded rip-off/parody(?) of Saving Private Ryan's Normandy beach scene, complete with the same shaky-cam techniques.
To make things even dumber (making teenagers take down such a dangerous terrorist on foot instead of just bombarding the island-- WHICH IS WHAT HAPPENS ANYWAY), the kids are paired with their counterpart of the opposite sex so that if one of them dies, the other's explosive necklace will... explode. Also, the game features the same "danger zones" idea that the original movie did, but it only comes up once in the whole movie, and is retarded anyway as the mission is a point A to point B relay. So essentially the government is using these kids to kill Shuya, but is making it even harder on them by using ridiculous restrictions.
Shuya and his band of tweenage terrorists have constructed an EMP to disable the explosive tracking necklaces. Wha?
Shuya himself is some sort of Jedi Jesus freedom fighter who goes on these, just... appalingly stupid monologues. In one televised address to the world, he DECLARES WAR ON ALL ADULTS (and ends the address with "Melly Krissmass")! This, from what I understood, causes the USA to tell the Japanese Prime Minister that they're going to bomb the island, so the PM orders the military to wipe out Shuya and the remaining BR2 participants who have joined his cause. So there's a lot of shooting, and Shuya, Kitano's daughter Shiori (Kitano being the instructor from the first movie), some other dildo, and the rest of the kids waste a whole bunch of soldiers... and then the island gets bombed to hell.
But Shuya and the other dildo survive and move to Afghanistan or something, where Shuya meets Noriko (BR1) again.
Oh yeah, and the instuctor for this one shows up around the end dressed in a rugby uniform and tells Shuya, Shiori, and dildo that he always wanted to play rugby with them before diving across the room with the kid's blood-soaked rugby ball as his tracking necklace explodes... I don't know why he has one. I guess he won a BR game once and forgot to ask them to take it off.
It's also needlessly long and extremely pretentious. I don't even know why I kept watching the bloody thing until the end. It was like vomiting into a pile of shit and then rolling around in it.