The Shrine

<div style='font: 14pt "Sans Serif"; text-align: justify; padding: 0% 15% 0% 15%; '><b>Link:</b> <a href="http://www.mrcranky.com/movies/thinredline.html">The entire Thin Red Line review...</a>

Oh man, I don't think I've ever been as ready to leave a movie as I was with Thin Red Line. Mr. Cranky puts it more eloquently than I ever could...
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"I spent the first half of this film wondering when the characters were going to start shooting something, preferably each other. Two hours later, I was simply waiting for it to end. Every two minutes thereafter, I lifted my ass a hopeful half-inch from my seat when Malick either faded to black or played some solemn music. After thirty minutes of being jerked around like this, I just wanted to scream, "Sweet Jesus, shoot me! Shoot me!" When Pvt. Witt, the main character we'd followed from the opening sequence, finally died, I thought "Thank Christ," but the movie stumbled on for yet another half hour like a meth addict with a spear through his head. When it finally, mercifully ended, I had to request a crowbar from the usher so I could remove the seat cushion from between my clenched butt cheeks."</i></div>

<div style='font: 14pt Agatha; text-align: left; '>...and while there are a lot of funny ones (that's one of them definately) there are some that suck and some that are outright stupid. I thought the Empire Strikes Back one was lame (only one good joke), both Indiana Jones reviews were stupid (sorry, but the penis jokes and bisexual hinting is just boring after the first mention in the review) and there were several others that just blew goats. Overall they're good stuff, but there are some real stinkers in there too.</div>

<div style='font: 14pt "Sans Serif"; text-align: justify; padding: 0% 15% 0% 15%; '>Yeah, he definitely mails it in on some of his reviews. They aren't all as high a quality as Thin Red Line or Mr. Cranky. His reviews on movies that really ARE good especially suffer at times, hence the bad Indiana Jones review...</div>

<div style='font: 14pt Agatha; text-align: left; '>The funny thing is the idiots on the bottom who treat the reviews as though they weren't deliberately looking for things to complain about.</div>

<div style='font: 14pt "Sans Serif"; text-align: justify; padding: 0% 15% 0% 15%; '>For real. When the best rating a movie can receive is "Almost tolerable", that should be your clue as to what kind of reviews to expect.</div>

<div style='font: 10pt verdana; text-align: left; padding: 0% 10% 0% 10%; '>I wonder if he actually doesn't enjoy these movies as much as he makes it seem like, or if he just writes negative reviews of movies he likes just 'cause he has to.</div>

<div style='font: 14pt Agatha; text-align: left; '>I mean some of them are pretty obvious that he really dislikes (check out the John Q. review that just went up this week for an example), but others are equally obvious that he probably likes and he's just picking out stuff to be negative about.</div>