Chuck Norris facts

[Zeus]

Don't remember seeing this more than in passing on this site, but I find these Chunk Norris facts freakin' hilarious:

http://4q.cc/index.php?pid=top100&person=chuck

We can start talking about favs but right now, I've got 10 or so that I find ridiculously hilarious. I'd like to know which ones you guys like and if you know of a site with a more comprehensive list, I'm all for it.

[Oracle]

Chuck Norris doesn't need help, help needs Chuck Norris.

[Lox]

I like these 2:

Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer.
Too bad Chuck Norris doesn't cry.

Did you know that the TMNT was based on a true story?
It's about the time Chuck Norris ate 4 live turtles.
When he crapped them out, they were 4 feet tall and knew Ninjitsu.

[Zeus]

A couple of my favs are:

- The theory of evolution doesn't exist. There's just a list of animals that Chuck Norris allows to live
- Before he goes to bed, the Boogeyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris

[Nev]

My friend and I submitted a few to one of these sites. I can't remember his, but these were mine:

-Chuck Norris needs to crap like any other man. Except that, when a normal man finishes taking a crap, the toilet bowl isn't broken into pieces, and it's not on fire.

-It's well-known that Chuck Norris can simultaneously split himself into five different Chuck Norrises, and that each one can roundhouse kick a train car in half. But Chuck would never do that, becaue in the end, there can only be one Chuck Norris.

[Flip]

Its so hard to pick, most of them were laugh out loud funny.

[Julius Seeker]

Chuck Norris sucks!

[Flip]

*ducks*

[Nev]

Chuck Norris sucks!

Chuck Norris...sucks?

...

I know what those words mean individually, but when you say them all together like that it doesn't make sense. Can you explain?

[Tessian]

No offense guys, but the whole Chuck Norris thing got old at least half a year ago...

If you posted this like 8 months ago it woulda been good, but seriously-- no one cares about Norris facts anymore, we've heard them all...dozens of times.

[Zeus]

No offense guys, but the whole Chuck Norris thing got old at least half a year ago...

If you posted this like 8 months ago it woulda been good, but seriously-- no one cares about Norris facts anymore, we've heard them all...dozens of times.

Nothing wrong in re-visiting old jokes. These ones are funny enough you can go back and have a good chuckle about them.

[bovine]

I saw chuck norris today in a video for my sociology, multiculturalism class. He was killing stereotypically bad followers of islam. Also, he was killing them with machine guns that were mounted on his motorbike.

[Zeus]

I assume he was doing all of this while having sex :-)

[Nev]

I saw chuck norris today in a video for my sociology, multiculturalism class. He was killing stereotypically bad followers of islam. Also, he was killing them with machine guns that were mounted on his motorbike.

God Bless America!!!!!

[SineSwiper]

Old but still fucking funny.

"Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants."

"Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop."

"Chuck Norris is currently in a legal battle with the makers of Bubble Tape. Norris claims "6 Feet of Fun" is actually the trademark for his penis."

"the Jihadists are pissed because they can no longer tell their recruits to expect 73 virgins in heaven. The best they can do now is 73 women who have already had sex with Chuck Norris."