Unfortunate Update

[Shellie]

I just wanted to let you guys know that the baby didnt make it. The past 2 weeks, I have been in and out of the hospital with complications. The last followup Dr visit I had they were no longer able to find a heartbeat. So I was admitted Tuesday and induced for delivery. We got home yesterday.

There are some theories on what happened, but the Dr's ordered a pathology report with genetic testing to see for sure what happened. The number one theory is the baby had a chromosome defect that was not "taken care of" in the beginning, and it should not happen again, as it's only a 1% chance of happening to begin with.

I am feeling ok, still a bit tired and sore, but the pain meds are helping with that! Emotionally I have my moments, but I am just ready to get back to normal and start trying again.

[SineSwiper]

Yeah, we've had a week or more to take this all in, so we're doing okay emotionally.

I was actually quite taken aback with just how much people treat this as if we lost a 2-year-old. "Are you naming the baby?" "Did you want to hold the baby?" "Do you want pictures of the baby?" "When is the funeral?" "We have grief counciling available." Heck, I've seen the fetus (only 17 weeks developed), and it wasn't exactly what I would get a picture of.

I mean, we're a little shaken about what happened, but before we went to induce a stillbirth, we had grieved and for the most part, we were over it. All of this attention to process made me wonder if we were the strange ones. It's simply a part of natural selection and nature's doing.

If anything, it seems like I'm more shaken about how people view this process than having lost our unborn kid itself.

[Kupek]

I'm really sorry to hear that.

[Eric]

I'm sorry to hear that, I read the topic and it crossed my mind, and then it set in as I read Seraph's post, as it confirmed my fear.

[Andrew, Killer Bee]

I'm so sorry, guys.

I am just ready to get back to normal and start trying again.

I'm glad to hear it! We're going to be trying ourselves in a few months. Terrifying!

[Shellie]

The trying is the fun part

Especially with all the problems that I've had the past few months, Sine and I haven't been allowed to do anything, and still not allowed for a while since I just delivered. So if he's been cranky on here, thats why lol

[Zeus]

The fucking sucks ass. My wife and I have actually been going to fertility clinic to try and get pregnant (issues for both of us) so I can't imagine what it would be like.

The only thing I can say is: miscarriages are relatively common with first-time mothers, something on the order of 65%. It doesn't help on ANY LEVEL with the pain - emotionally and physically - but it's not like you're odd. I actually had a friend and cuz that went through and their each have daughters now. So don't get discouraged, it's normal.

[Flip]

Sorry to hear that guys.

[Lox]

I'm very sorry to hear that. My wife's cousin lost 2 babies during pregnancy and I know it's never easy, but at least you're ok and that's what matters.

[bovine]

oh man...... Sorry to hear that guys. That's quite a bummer.

[Blotus]

Very sorry, guys. The strength you're showing in dealing with it is admirable.

[Chris]

I actually just shed a little tear for yu guys. seriously....not a joke. I hate shit like this happening to friends so yeah.

[M'k'n'zy]

I am very sorry to hear that 8^( I am glad to hear that you are coping well.

[Shellie]

Thanks guys

Zeus, we also had fertility problems, my end, so I've been through the ringer on that stuff too, if you ever have any questions or anything.

[Shellie]

I just realized that I have no idea what I'm going to do with myself for the next 3 weeks, I'm off work. There are no games I'm currently playing...no books...crap.

[Don]

Sorry to hear that.

[Zeus]

Thanks guys

Zeus, we also had fertility problems, my end, so I've been through the ringer on that stuff too, if you ever have any questions or anything.

Thanks Seraph. I'll be sure to ask you if my wife runs into any questions. She's an RPN and has been reading up on it for a year but you can't get everything from reading.

[Ishamael]

Ugh, hate to hear this. Glad to see you guys are pulling through this so well.

[Oracle]

Really sorry to hear this guys. Glad to hear you're both taking it in stride.

[Imakeholesinu]

So sorry to hear that you two.

[Torgo]

I'm very sorry to hear that. Good to know you're ok, at least.

[Judgment 1999]

I'm really sorry to hear about this. Good to see you guys are handling it alright.