Black Lotus wrote:I do. It's been about seven years now. I'd certainly like to quit just like that, but there are a couple of circumstances getting in the way of that right now.
The first is that I've started back on a medication that I've been off of for about a year now and neither myself or my doctor think it would be a good idea to try and quit now while the medication is starting to take effect.
The second is that I recently broke four of my teeth. One was pulled, to later have an implant in that space. The other three had pieces pulled from them and were crowned. I had to go back to the dentist yesterday to get one of the crowns ground down because it was too high and since it didn't align with my bite, it was very painful to chew on one side. I think I had also been slightly grinding or gnashing my teeth at night which just caused more pain and as a result, my sleeping patterns have been incredibly erratic. I think I've only slept for four hours in the last two nights and that was in periods of 30 minutes to an hour. Another development: the left side of my lower jaw, where the tooth causing the pain it, has started to swell over the course of today and now feels about the size of half a grape. The pharmacy near here loves me though, since I'm putting all of their kids through college with all the Ibprofun I'm buying.
Uh... anyway, if you've seen commercials about talking to your doctor about a new quitting treatment, that's what I'll be trying. Apparently it's been having an extremely high success rate as it blocks the nicotine receptors in your brain, so the actual act of smoking is rendered ineffective. I'm not sure what the drug is called.
So Rent, if you've just started, you ought to quit. Because if you ever become a heavy smoker, you can look forward to spending a good chunk of your earnings on cigarettes... especially if you were to move to Canada. Currently, a pack here will run you between $8-$12 (for 25) depending on quality. Since the ones I smoke are on average $11.50 and I smoke between half a pack to a pack a day, that's about $250/month or $3000/year. Of course, since you're in America you can cut that in half. Still, if you're going to continue, make sure you're going to be wealthy enough to afford that luxury. Nothing rises in prices like cigarettes (not here anyway).
Yeesh, that's rough.
I have odd reasons for doing it. One is definitely stress, another is the social aspect, but...hm...
It's hard to explain. I've always been fascinated by smoking. It's that thing you shouldn't ever do, and I'm teh sort of person who always does what he's supposed to. Until I came to college, I never smoke, never drank, hadn't ever touched pot or considered sampling acid.
Now, though, I find myself terribly drawn to all of these things. Smoking was the last thing I've gotten into, and I've found myself strangely enjoying it. I smoke with every intention of quitting before I end college, but it's a weird feeling of satisfaction I get when I do it, like I'm finally doing something purely and selfishly for myself, to hell with the risks.
At the same time, I'm sort of bombarded by people throwing all their indignation at smoking. I can't help but wonder if I'm just trying to do it in order to fit in with other people, and thus am really just being hypocritical.
It's been a really rough semester for me so far. Smoking is the latest of several developments I've been taking to relieve stress, as my work habits have been suffering as a result of 18 credit hours and my first, serious difficulties being away from home.
So...I dunno. It's all a matter of if it matters. I think I have the fortitude to quit after awhile, but I can't ever be sure. My ongoing theory is, unless I start disliking it, I'll likely keep smoking till my friends decide to quit.
But...see what I mean? I'm sort of trapped in a cycle of not knowing whether I want to do it or not, and I do this for every single thing I do, be it drinking, doing other drugs, or just...everything.
I'm a very strange person.