When I was in high school, I had a terrible, terrible crush on this one girl.
She was in my math class. She was beautiful. I also thought she was unattainable, so I never flirted with her, though we did talk frequently and she was very, very nice to me, and I did think there was some kind of an ease there, even if it was just talking about math.
When I realized she was about to graduate without my ever having asked her out, I became miserable and despondent. I chose not to ask her out when I heard she had a boyfriend, which probably made sense to me at the time and still does, but I'd had a crush on her for more than a year and acted like a complete pussy so it served me right (so says my kind and generous brain).
It was very hard to lose touch with someone I felt was so important to me without ever having said anything to her. One of the hardest things I'd ever had to go through in my life.
I cried. A lot. And, not that ashamed to admit it, because I felt what I felt and felt it deeply.
Lesson 1: So of course like a tremendous number of other people who lived to see 2009, she's on Facebook, I looked her up awhile back and finally found the balls to send her a friend request a few days ago? a week? something like that. Anyway, she's absolutely gorgeous, she just accepted my friend request, and though I know little about what she's been up to or if she's in a relationship (not sure if her page mentions one), it just goes to show you, apparently God didn't feel like letting me off the hook for my cowardice without some kind of further interaction with her. Never say never.
Lesson 2: If God wants to present you with a dilemma, and you avoid it, He/She/It/Other will find some way to make sure you have the same dilemma to face all over again later in life if that force so desires.
Not saying I want to flirt with her or declare everlasting love - it's been like ten, eleven years - but I really just thought she was going to be one of those ever-missed forgotten muses of unrequited love. Now, God seems to think I ought to have another chance at not being a pussy and at least get to try to know her better, for whatever purpose that shall end up having been.
She was in my math class. She was beautiful. I also thought she was unattainable, so I never flirted with her, though we did talk frequently and she was very, very nice to me, and I did think there was some kind of an ease there, even if it was just talking about math.
When I realized she was about to graduate without my ever having asked her out, I became miserable and despondent. I chose not to ask her out when I heard she had a boyfriend, which probably made sense to me at the time and still does, but I'd had a crush on her for more than a year and acted like a complete pussy so it served me right (so says my kind and generous brain).
It was very hard to lose touch with someone I felt was so important to me without ever having said anything to her. One of the hardest things I'd ever had to go through in my life.
I cried. A lot. And, not that ashamed to admit it, because I felt what I felt and felt it deeply.
Lesson 1: So of course like a tremendous number of other people who lived to see 2009, she's on Facebook, I looked her up awhile back and finally found the balls to send her a friend request a few days ago? a week? something like that. Anyway, she's absolutely gorgeous, she just accepted my friend request, and though I know little about what she's been up to or if she's in a relationship (not sure if her page mentions one), it just goes to show you, apparently God didn't feel like letting me off the hook for my cowardice without some kind of further interaction with her. Never say never.
Lesson 2: If God wants to present you with a dilemma, and you avoid it, He/She/It/Other will find some way to make sure you have the same dilemma to face all over again later in life if that force so desires.
Not saying I want to flirt with her or declare everlasting love - it's been like ten, eleven years - but I really just thought she was going to be one of those ever-missed forgotten muses of unrequited love. Now, God seems to think I ought to have another chance at not being a pussy and at least get to try to know her better, for whatever purpose that shall end up having been.
