Buah!!!

[Imakeholesinu]

<div style='font: 10pt Impact; text-align: left; '>So I've got to go to work in an hour and a half. Not sure how long I'm going to be there, but all reasons to get drunk (Single, white, male, valentines day is tomorrow) have been dashed due to me working tomorrow at 9am (getting up at 8 with a hangover is impossible, believe me, I've tried it before.). Now, I could get drunk tomorrow when I get off (1-2pm?) and go out with people, but then I realized, I have no friends that are single, or in town this weekend. So, I have the following options...

1) Get drunk at the house, hope for the girls to throw a party, and hopefully fill one of their friends with the lonliness inside me.

2) Get drunk after work at work, wait for a few of the cool people who didn't request off for tomorrow to get off work and go out with them, get shitfaced and maybe bang a waitress.

3) This is the safe option. Buy season 3 of Farscape, lift the DVD player from the front room since everyone will be out with their significant other(s) and watch the entire thing, drink myself to sleep and wake up refreshed on sunday.

Fucking the roommates is out of the question since one of their boyfriends is a drug dealer, and the other is a football player whom I know from high school (needless to say, I don't want to burn any bridges...yet).

And yes, for those of you who are going to say "Why drink so..." it's because Valentine's day is the bane of all existance for single males like myself. It's like hell on earth, every where you go, girl on a guy's arm walking up and down the street. While I'm happy for the chap for snagging such a fine peice of ass, I resent having them gloat that they fuck occasionally.

I know, it's one day, but still, I'd rather it be over quickly, or me just not remember it at all, or make it memorable by bagging a waitress...it doesn't matter to me.

Pardon the cynicism, it's just that I've come to realize that everyone else has a personal life that I know except me, and I'm hating myself for being so lazy as to not try to find a woman (or atleast give one the time of day) that I am interested in. BOOOOOOOOO, and if I have to watch the Blues lose again, I'm going to kill myself.</div>

[Imakeholesinu]

<div style='font: 10pt Impact; text-align: left; '>Forgot to mention, their friends that I know have been driven harder than I drive my car. So choose from #2 or #3.</div>

[Tessian]

<div style='font: 11pt Dominion; text-align: left; '>It's been a lot worse for me...and I'm on a fucking campus with a roommate who's gf is due here any minute. And I can't even drink...I'm so fucked</div>

[Kupek]

<div style='font: 10pt verdana; text-align: left; padding: 0% 10% 0% 10%; '>Worse, huh? I fell in love with a girl, she REPLACED ME with the guy who sits behind me at the office, and now she's back with an ex-boyfriend. Oh, and she's my GODDAMN NEIGHBOR and we SHARE A WALL. Wanna know what I had the pleasure of hearing last night?</div>

[Tortolia]

<div style='font: 9pt ; text-align: left; '>Hopefully some very loud music in a pair of headphones.</div>

[Tessian]

<div style='font: 11pt Dominion; text-align: left; '>hey buddy, I didn't say I was worse off than you :P That's pretty wretched...I fell for a girl who used me till she got used to campus, but I don't have to see her daily</div>

[Derithian]

<div style='font: italic bold 14pt ; text-align: center; '>I say do the thing with the banging watresses. Banging waitresses has always been a hobby of mine so really, how can you go wrong.</div>

[Imakeholesinu]

<div style='font: 10pt Impact; text-align: left; '>I don't have you beat in the shitty situation department, but I get thumps from upstairs (roommate 1) and moans and orgasms from the room next to mine (roommate 3). Oh yeah, when 3 doesn't have her boy toy, she replaces him with an electric friend. Just wake up to that 4 mornings out of the week.</div>

[Imakeholesinu]

<div style='font: 10pt Impact; text-align: left; '>True, now to find one that's 21, attractive, and interested. No time to plan right now, it's sleepy time.</div>

[Eric]

<div style='font: 11pt ; text-align: left; '>I.....couldn't imagine.</div>

[Stephen]

<div style='font: 10pt Arial; text-align: left; '>Place your speakers and subwoofer (if applicable) against the wall, put on your loudest, most annoying music and crank it up. Don't forget earplugs.</div>

[Zeus]

<div style='font: 9pt ; text-align: left; '>You obviously don't understand the pain of being a married/committed man on Valentine's Day. It should be renamed "Married Man Punishment Day". It's all about doing what the women want, when they want, and how they want it......and that usually means sex is not an option unless you spend LOTS of $</div>

[Julius Seeker]

<div style='font: 12pt ; text-align: left; '>Get your dinner jacket, bring out the wine glasses, crack open a few bottles of Jost, pop on some classy music, and invite over a bunch of girls. All the ones that like you will probably come over,</div>

[Julius Seeker]

<div style='font: 12pt ; text-align: left; '>I'm sure even a human fuck shaft like yourself can pick up tonight. Just hang out around the dance floor and I guarantee you that within 3 minutes you'll find a woman who will grind you like a belt sander; Especially on Valentines day where every chick in the place is just begging for a little of the ol' in out - in out. Just take her home hammer up her fucking pussy like a ravenous sex crazed bear, make her scream like the slut that she is, I'm sure your Ex will hear it.</div>

[Julius Seeker]

<div style='font: 12pt ; text-align: left; '>I'm sure you can't =P *Recalls Eric telling that he is the one who sits behind Kupek at the office*</div>

[Julius Seeker]

<div style='font: 12pt ; text-align: left; '>Hehehe, sorry about that man, I just couldn't resist =)

If you'll take some advice, since you two are married there HAS to be at least one thing that the two of you have that you'd both enjoy. Or maybe there's something you really like that you know she'll like. Spend some money, spoil yourself, use this as a damn excuse to spoil yourself rotten. Take her out to a high quality restaraunt that YOU like, dress up, sip some wine, then head out to the clubs or whereever you like to let loose (I like lounges personally, but every once in a while there's awesome club nights; tonight is one of those nights), there's a lot of Valentines day stuff going on tonight, and also, don't take her home, take her to the hotel room you booked where you left a few bottles of your favourite wine, with ice; you don't necessarilly have to spend a lot, just scope out the rooms and find the one YOU like. I would do this sort of thing two or three days a week if I wouldn't get in trouble for it, tonight is my excuse for blowing $150+ on what I like to do =)</div>

[Kupek]

<div style='font: 10pt verdana; text-align: left; padding: 0% 10% 0% 10%; '>Neither could I until it became what I have to live with every day.</div>

[Kupek]

<div style='font: 10pt verdana; text-align: left; padding: 0% 10% 0% 10%; '>If I eventually snap, it will be ACDC, "You Shook Me All Night Long.</div>

[SineSwiper]

<div style='font: 10pt "EngraversGothic BT", "Copperplate Gothic Light", "Century Gothic"; text-align: left; '>Friendster.</div>

[SineSwiper]

<div style='font: 10pt "EngraversGothic BT", "Copperplate Gothic Light", "Century Gothic"; text-align: left; '>Pffft...been there, done that. It's annoying when your roommate is fucking his g/f and you're still a virgin.</div>

[SineSwiper]

<div style='font: 10pt "EngraversGothic BT", "Copperplate Gothic Light", "Century Gothic"; text-align: left; '>Don't you people believe in blackmail? Record the fucking shit and save it for a good laugh among their friends.</div>

[SineSwiper]

<div style='font: 10pt "EngraversGothic BT", "Copperplate Gothic Light", "Century Gothic"; text-align: left; '>Oh, is that the shit you've been having problems with for the past two years? (Actually, I know there's much, much more....)</div>

[SineSwiper]

<div style='font: 10pt "EngraversGothic BT", "Copperplate Gothic Light", "Century Gothic"; text-align: left; '>Too subtle. You need some rap song that has plenty of O sounds, like "Me So Horny" or something like that. Even if you don't like rap, just play it when you hear the shit.</div>

[Kupek]

<div style='font: 10pt verdana; text-align: left; padding: 0% 10% 0% 10%; '>No, that just started last semester. The rest is a much longer story.</div>

[Imakeholesinu]

<div style='font: 10pt Impact; text-align: left; '>E-dating? Negative on that one.</div>

[Shellie]

<div style='font: 10pt georgia; text-align: left; '>Thats sorta how we met.</div>

[Imakeholesinu]

<div style='font: 10pt Impact; text-align: left; '>That's kinda why we feel sorry for you :)</div>

[Zeus]

<div style='font: 9pt ; text-align: left; '>Actually, I got off light this year. All I had to do was make my wife dinner, so it was more like punishment for her :-)</div>

[SineSwiper]

<div style='font: 10pt "EngraversGothic BT", "Copperplate Gothic Light", "Century Gothic"; text-align: left; '>Honestly, since I'm already with somebody, I can't personally vouch for this one, but everybody else is talking about it. Basically, it might as well be called Fuckster, since it's a database of Fuck Friends. But the thing is that not just anybody is on it. All of the friends are linked together, so that you can look up a friend you know and look as his (or her) friends. Obviously, your friends aren't going to be putting up pedophiles, or 50-year-old fat guys posing as women, as their "friends" on Friendster. So, you'll be looking at a good list without all of the bullshit. (If you run out of one list, look up Friends of Friends.)

And if that doesn't work, try Match.com or HotOrNot.com or Fark's Personals, or whatever. I don't get why everybody is so afraid of getting those incredibly rare cases of somebody posing as somebody else. Shit, these are matchmaker sites, not IRC. The people are going on there for the purpose of getting a match, so there's no point to trying to lie on the stats. And even if you don't like them, you can do what you do at a bar, ditch em. Matching on the Internet is a helluva lot better than bar hopping, because you has no idea what the chick is like at a bar, but you're staring at the stats (including pics) on the Internet.

Give in, because Internet dating will replace everything else eventually.</div>