Conservatives want to re-write the Bible

[Julius Seeker]

Their mission "The Conservative Bible Project is a project utilizing the "best of the public" to render God's word into modern English without liberal translation distortions."

http://conservapedia.com/Conservative_Bible_Project

All I am going to say is, they have their work cut out for them. The Conservative philosophy in the bible is a small minority; even in the books considered friendly to right-wing ideology. The bible is very Liberal, as most of its writers were Liberals living in the Roman Empire; this has confused the hell out of Conservatives for years - especially because when they actually sit down to read the bible, they find that it largely doesn't resemble one of those 10-20 quotes they keep constantly hearing out of context from other Conservatives (mostly from Leviticus and Exodus; which would be considered relatively obscure passages to the Greek Christians who wrote the bible).

Well, the Conservatives have an answer, and that's re-writing the bible =P

If anything, they have it backwards, most of the translations came from much more conservative regimes; and if anything, the distorted sections are the Conservative ones.

[Shrinweck]

Ugh

[SineSwiper]

Conservatives already re-wrote the Bible. It's called the King James version.

[Julius Seeker]

KJV Luke 17:34 "I tell you, in that night there shall be two men in one bed; the one shall be taken, and the other shall be left."
KJV Luke 17:35 "Two women shall be grinding together; the one shall be taken, and the other left."

This is fairly easy to show as Jesus saying that performing homosexual acts is not a disqualifying point for becoming a citizen of the Kingdom of God, through textual evidence.

"Grinding" is a metaphor from the Roman world for female sexual acts; example:

"Once, when a noble left a brothel, “Blessed be thou for thy virtue!” quoth the wisdom of Cato: “for when their veins are swelling with gross lust, young men should drop in there, rather than grind some husband’s private mill." - Horace

I think it is clear what men lying with men means, as that Metaphor is at least as old as early Jewish Scripture - the infamous Leviticus 18:22 for example.

Anyway, you can probably peeve off a lot of the ultra-judgmental Conservative Christians with this =P
It's funny because they will struggle with this in trying to figure out a way that they can still justifyingly preach hatred towards homosexuals; and when the inevitable gaybashing enters in, pop them with one of Jesus's "don't judge" passages, which are numerous.

[SineSwiper]

Christians don't want to face the facts: there is a ton of sex and violence in the Bible.