Fairly accurate review of the G4 channel

[SineSwiper]

http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=2841

It makes us weep for the golden days of TechTV. I'd prefer the semi-hot chicks that knew what the hell a computer was (even if they did talk about chatting all day), to the hotter bimbos that are only there because a) they have tits and ass and look good in makeup, or b) they are dating Kevin Rose.

Judgment Day

Think "X-Play hosted by a mongoloid and his comparatively normal friend" then think "change the channel" if your brain hasn't already gone into shock, permanently destroying your motor functions. Tommy Tallarico's review scores make absolutely no sense, but I'll attempt to explain them with this handy scoring chart.

Does the game have explosions?
If yes, add 3 points (out of ten)
If no, subtract 4

Are said explosions better looking than Halo 2's?
If no, subtract 6
If yes, subtract 1

Does the game contain farts, burps, pooping, or sexual innuendo?
If all of the above, add 10
If three of the above or less, subtract 3

How's the game play, story, and overall fun factor?
If excellent, add 1
If horrible, add 1

[Zeus]

Heh, we have that X-Play show up here on G4-TechTV. It's garbage. The only decent one is Electric Playground and they've gotten silly too. I can't wait 'til we actually can get a decent, non-childish games show.

[Shellie]

Its not even called G4-TechTV..they changed it to G4 Video Game Television....

RIP Tech TV

[Zeus]

Not up here ;-)

[Shellie]

Eh? Didnt think it would be diferent there.

We're supposedly getting the Anime Network On Demand...sometime.

Did I mention I love working for the cable company? My job description changed recently, and now I do work for various depts, mainly Broadband, creating resources and training tools for their people. One of the training coordinators gave me this nice Showtime umbrella. It goes good with my HBO OZ prison cup, and my Showtime thermos, and my Oxygen rearview desk mirror, and..etc...

[Zeus]

Yeah, Tech TV was just that until last year, I believe. Then they joined with G4 (I assume there was a merger in the US?) so it's now G$-Tech TV now. But it's still Tech TV on my dish

Anime Network on demand would RULE. I can't wait 'til they properly crack the cable boxes :-)

[Torgo]

Not to try and sound like an old fart or anything, but as someone who's watched the channel since it was ZDTV, it really pains me to see it fall this low. I don't know, maybe we're just not the right demographic. I probably would've loved this channel if I was 14.

[Zeus]

Not to try and sound like an old fart or anything, but as someone who's watched the channel since it was ZDTV, it really pains me to see it fall this low. I don't know, maybe we're just not the right demographic. I probably would've loved this channel if I was 14.

That's my biggest beef right now. Regardless of the success of the industry, it's still seen by the majority of the public and those who actually run our world as a child's pasttime. Back in the day, movies also had the same issue. They were not seen as "true" art, so they weren't as respected. Now it's the same crap for videogames. So, in order for me to get a games show that doesn't completely insult my intelligence or speak to me as though I'm 12, I have to wait a decade or two. At least I'll be able to watch decent shows with my kids....

Then again, the only magazine to attempt to treat games as a "respectable" art form was Next Generation, and that's gone now. EGM is by far the best one left, but they're all over the place. You have to dig for their "good" stuff. Their reviews are still good, though. A 7.5 from them actually means something.

[Shellie]

Not to try and sound like an old fart or anything, but as someone who's watched the channel since it was ZDTV, it really pains me to see it fall this low. I don't know, maybe we're just not the right demographic. I probably would've loved this channel if I was 14.

I think we all are in agreement. G4 sucked to begin with. Tech TV was a great channel. We really needed a channel like that to help educate the novices out there. My aunt left it on pretty much all day, it helped her learn a lot about her pc.

Then G4 bought Tech TV and slowly took it over and wiped out everything that was left of Tech TV.

Now, at least here, they have removed Tech TV from the name of the channel.

[Imakeholesinu]

Very very accurate.

[Ishamael]

Yes, G4 is unbelievably lame compared to TechTV. Here's an old slashdot thread around a story from a TechTV employee who saw the G4 takeover happening from the inside:

http://slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=05/0 ... 0&from=rss

Unfortunately, the original linked story appears to be gone (probably a copy on the web somewhere if you really care to look). I remember it being very insightful. I wouldn't be suprised in the least if the guy was forced to take it down by lawyers.

[SineSwiper]

I even supported getting G4 on the air. It sounded like a great idea. I remember seeing the initial channel and thinking "Meh, most of it is crap, but it's the first year. TechTV took a while to get into their groove."

And then they bought out TechTV solely for the purpose of destroying it. I was perfectly fine with them co-existing because they were two seperate channels with two seperate audiences. Yes, they merged in spots, but I don't see how they were thinking that TechTV was competition to them.

They were too impatient and made horrible decisions, even before the takeover. Canning Wil Wheaton on Arena (as well as the other guy, who was also funny) was a bad idea. Portal was a horrible show. Cheat and Filter, like the above review says, is babe eyecandy with info you can find on GameFAQs. Judgement Day was probably the best show on there, but Tommy Tallarico was/is a fucking spazz.

In the end, they basically took over TechTV just to get X-Play, which is a fucking stupid reason. It's a decent show, but it's not worth destroying a channel over.

[Ishamael]

Aaah yes, the Arena thing. Wil goes over the collapse of his relationship with G4 in an old slashdot journal entry. Having your boss call you a "fucking bullshit asshole" probably won't go down in history as being among your favorite pep talks.

http://slashdot.org/~CleverNickName/journal/20695

[SineSwiper]

Jesus Christ! I didn't know that. That level of abuse and corruption on the inside only confirms what we can see on the outside. Who owns G4, btw?

[Ishamael]

JWho owns G4, btw?

I think it's Comcast.

[SineSwiper]

Heh, that's a little close to home where I work at. I was expecting you to say something like Viacom.