Tortolia wrote:Reasonably sure I can't fuck a pile of ashes, and out of deference to her, I think I'll avoid testing this theory.
Anyway, as I read on, I was quite surprised that this wasn't the end of the argument. A comment such as "Go fuck your mother" followed by a comment such as "I can't fuck ashes" is usually a mood changer. This would never be followed by another "Go fuck your mother" comment, as the offender would no doubt know that his mother is dead, and dead mother insults are generally a low blow, especially when uttered in a serious tone.
So, yes, Mental, for one who is so fucking uptight about not abusing your feelings, everybody hear agrees that:
1. You asked for our opinion, so don't bitch if you don't actually like our opinion. In some cases, not liking our opinion is a common reflexive reaction to things that you know are true but don't want to hear. This is very common when it comes to relationships. Granted, we aren't relationship experts, but we've been in quite a few relationships and collectively we understand the situations that have been brought forth. The very fact that our judgement isn't as clouded as the person asking for advise is perspective enough for said advise to be somewhat valuable.
2. Insulting Tort's mother was low, childish, and extremely hypocritical.
This is very unbecoming behavior from the founder of this place, who created Ruminations for enlighten conversation, only to enter an enlightened thread and turn it into shit, and then put across the most damning insult I have ever seen in my 7-8 years of maintaining this place. (Shit, I've had some flamewars over religion in the past, but telling somebody to go fuck their dead mother?!)
I agree with 100% of what Tort and Kupek have said. It doesn't matter HOW anything is said here, but WHAT is said. Most of us aren't going to bother with your minefields just because you can't take it, but we aren't here to fuck you over or insult you either. You seem to have a lack of trust in why we say whatever we say, or think that we hate you just for spite and we are here to make your life hell. We would be giving you advice to try to make your situation better, and your response is "Fuck it, I'm not listening any more, and go fuck your mother!"? Talk about biting the hand that feeds it!
It's somewhat of a hard trait to acquire, but learn not to be totally reactive to what anybody says, especially on the net. What words were said is not exactly what the tone or idea of what is actually being put across. Written word is not the most expressive method of communication, but it is more thoughtout than the immediate spoken word. By immediately posting off-the-cuff, the benefits of written word are replaced by its weaknesses.
That's not to say that everybody shouldn't post whatever is on their mind at the moment, because not everybody has the time to completely think out if the words completely convey the meaning they should. But, one should realize that there are underlying meanings/tones of what is being said that you wouldn't understand without asking to elaborate. Immediately assuming that the tones are what you think they are is somewhat dangerous, especially when assuming the worst tone among friends who have been chatting online for 8 years. Even now, I'm still surprised at how some people have become so pissed at the friendly jabs that I've posted here, even though I've chatted with them for years.
