The Shrine

<div style='font: 11pt arial; text-align: left; '>Excuse the theft of a Spaceballs joke in the subject, but this is probably one of the poorest excuses for a movie I've ever seen. You walk into the theatre wondering to yourself "Hmm...how are they going to make a third movie about people trapped on an island with crazy dinosaurs and still have some sort of original plot structure?" You soon realize, however, that the answer is in fact very simple: they didn't. The movie is a 92 minute chase scene. Whatever semblance of a storyline it contained was tacked on in a pitiful attempt to make the movie appear as though it wasn't simply a ploy by producers to milk the dinosaur movie fans for all they're worth. This is seriously one of the worst movies of all time. If I wanted to just see CG dinos wandering aimlessly I would watch Walking With Dinosaurs on the Discovery Channel. At least that's fucking free. I must admit, though, the movie did have one redeeming quality, in that they finally put in some fucking pterodactyls. I've been waiting since I first read JP 8 years ago to see some fucking pterodactyls. I'll give them that...but nothing else.

My advice? If you like dinosaurs and special FX, then feel free to watch this movie as long as you're not spending any money or expecting any sort of storyline whatsoever. Also, make sure all knives and firearms are placed safely out of reach as the urge to kill yourself and others will steadily rise as the film goes on.</div>

<div style='font: 10pt Verdana, Tahoma; text-align: left; padding: 0% 10% 0% 10%; '>So that's a thumbs down, right?</div>

<div style='font: 9pt Arial; text-align: left; '>And rumor has it that Universal has the rights to make up to six JP movies. You're really in for a treat now!</div>

<div style='font: 14pt Plakatbau; text-align: left; '>You needed to see it to figure this out? :)</div>

<div style='font: 9pt arial; text-align: left; '>At this point I refuse to go see another JP movie unless I know ahead of time the dinos kill every one of the main characters.</div>

<div style='font: 12pt ; text-align: left; '>Amen to that.</div>

<div style='font: 10pt Verdana, Tahoma; text-align: left; padding: 0% 10% 0% 10%; '>"They got little Billy, they got litt-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhh-"</div>

<div style='font: 10pt arial; text-align: left; '>Samuel L. Jackson's character gives the inspirational speech about how they're all going to work together and make it out alive, then promptly gets bitten in half by the mutant great white shark =). Hey, great white...racist!!!</div>

<div style='font: 10pt Verdana, Tahoma; text-align: left; padding: 0% 10% 0% 10%; '>One thing I have to give that movie is that it goes against the normal forumla of who does and does not die. Samuel L. Jackson is the biggest name they have, and he goes, what, second?

And then they kill the attractive blonde scientist at the end. Everyone was expecting her to get out of the water, but no, swallowed by a shark.</div>

<div style='font: 11pt ; text-align: left; '>We need more people to die we don't expect to die. :)</div>

<div style='font: 10pt "Arial bold"; text-align: left; '>That was awesome.</div>

<div style='font: 10pt "Arial bold"; text-align: left; '>Far more so. That movie sucks donkey cock of unspeakable proportions</div>

<div style='font: 10pt Verdana, Tahoma; text-align: left; padding: 0% 10% 0% 10%; '>[kills Eric]</div>

<div style='font: 9pt Arial; text-align: left; '>I loved that scene.</div>

<div style='font: 11pt ; text-align: left; '>Oh yeah.....I had that one coming. :P</div>

<div style='font: 9pt arial; text-align: left; '>While not a great movie, they kill off Steven Seagal - what, 20 minutes into it? His name was either the first or second one on the posters for that movie. Kind of unexpected.</div>

<div style='font: 11pt ; text-align: left; '>Oh yeah.......what was the plot for that movie exactly?</div>

<div style='font: 9pt Arial; text-align: left; '>A lot like Strategic Command...</div>

<div style='font: 10pt Verdana, Tahoma; text-align: left; padding: 0% 10% 0% 10%; '>I loved that, mainly because I can't stand that actor. The rest of the movie was pretty standard fare, but it's a fun one to watch.</div>

<div style='font: 10pt Verdana, Tahoma; text-align: left; padding: 0% 10% 0% 10%; '>You'd better believe it.</div>

<div style='font: 11pt "EngraversGothic BT", "Copperplate Gothic Light"; text-align: left; '>I was watching the movie because it had SLJ in it. Oh well...LL Cool J did a good performance.</div>

<div style='font: 10pt arial; text-align: left; '>Ain't nothing wrong with SLJ. He's one of those actors that you'll see a movie just because he's in it, kind of like Vin Disel.</div>

<div style='font: 10pt "arial narrow"; text-align: left; padding: 0% 5% 0% 5%; '>Who the fuck is Vin Diesel? This (F&F) is the first I've ever heard of him.</div>

<div style='font: 10pt Verdana, Tahoma; text-align: left; padding: 0% 10% 0% 10%; '>He was in Saving Private Ryan. He's the guy who went after the kid in the French village and was taken out by the sniper.</div>

<div style='font: 10pt arial; text-align: left; '>Also the guy who could see in the dark in Pitch Black.</div>

<div style='font: 14pt Plakatbau; text-align: left; '>Jackson's a mite bit higher profile than Vin Diesel.</div>

<div style='font: 10pt "arial narrow"; text-align: left; padding: 0% 5% 0% 5%; '>Just a smidge.</div>

<div style='font: 9pt arial; text-align: justify; '>And I believe he was the voice of the Iron Giant in "The Iron Giant." Not that that's a huge role, or anything.</div>

<div style='font: 10pt arial; text-align: left; '>True, but Diesel approaches SLJ's level of bad-ass-osity.</div>

<div style='font: 10pt "arial narrow"; text-align: left; padding: 0% 5% 0% 5%; '>No way. Jules from Pulp Fiction is THE bad ass.</div>

<div style='font: 11pt "EngraversGothic BT", "Copperplate Gothic Light"; text-align: left; '>He was awesome in The Long Kiss Goodnight.</div>

<div style='font: 11pt "EngraversGothic BT", "Copperplate Gothic Light"; text-align: left; '>Oh yeah...he -is- a badass.</div>

<div style='font: 14pt Plakatbau; text-align: left; '>Oh, whew. For a second there I thought you were talking about the Iron Giant from 'Erin Brockovich'. Glad I got that cleared up.</div>

<div style='font: 9pt arial; text-align: justify; '>Actually, I was more afraid people would get it confused with MY Iron Giant.</div>

<div style='font: 10pt arial; text-align: left; '>You mean the Anal Pleasure Rod?</div>

<div style='font: 14pt Plakatbau; text-align: left; '>And the subtlety is instantly LAUNCHED INTO SPACE!

I'd get back to you about the Spoony Inc. thing Lee, but I have only a single Chef Boyardee can attached to some frayed red yarn for communications, and the chief just won't get off my damn case until Tuesday.</div>

<div style='font: 11pt ; text-align: left; '>Chock do you still have ICQ?</div>

<div style='font: 9pt arial; text-align: justify; '>Yeah, just email either Stephen or I whenever you can. Preferrably me this week, since Steve's out of town.

--Lee S.</div>

<div style='font: 9pt arial; text-align: justify; '>BAM! Look, I'm sticking crap in the message box JUST for the hell of it! To increase my score!

Although I'd better be careful. Every time I type something in here, I run the risk of the Shrine fucking its shit up.

--Lee S.</div>

<div style='font: 10pt "arial narrow"; text-align: left; padding: 0% 5% 0% 5%; '>I wouldn't want to be Pluto right about now.</div>

<div style='font: 10pt Verdana, Tahoma; text-align: left; padding: 0% 10% 0% 10%; '>Not even close. Samuel L. Jackson is a bad-ass. "Diesel" is a meathead.</div>