The Other Worlds Shrine

Your place for discussion about RPGs, gaming, music, movies, anime, computers, sports, and any other stuff we care to talk about... 

  • M&M wars.

  • Somehow, we still tolerate each other. Eventually this will be the only forum left.
Somehow, we still tolerate each other. Eventually this will be the only forum left.
 #4300  by G-man Joe
 Tue Feb 04, 2003 11:01 am
<div style='font: 11pt "Fine Hand"; text-align: left; '>Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.

There can be only one.

****************

Anonymous Poster</div>

 #4303  by Tessian
 Tue Feb 04, 2003 11:08 am
<div style='font: 11pt Dominion; text-align: left; '>Is that all they let you do in the old folk's home? I think they need to switch your meds...although what Mars did was pretty damn funny</div>

 #4305  by the Gray
 Tue Feb 04, 2003 12:00 pm
<div style='font: 12pt ; text-align: left; '>That was the funniest thing I've read today, Glad you're back</div>

 #4306  by Gentz
 Tue Feb 04, 2003 12:32 pm
<div style='font: 11pt arial; text-align: left; '>Your law of the jungle philosophy is disgusting and archaic. In today's world there is room for M&M's of ALL varieties to thrive.</div>

 #4323  by Imakeholesinu
 Tue Feb 04, 2003 4:30 pm
<div style='font: 10pt Arial; text-align: left; '>So it's natural selection among the candy coated chocolates? The tan M&M's were superior to all back in the day.</div>

 #4345  by Don
 Wed Feb 05, 2003 2:45 am
<div style='font: 12pt ; text-align: left; '>Brown and Red M&Ms are my favorite too. Glad to know there's biological basis for their supremacy</div>

 #4347  by Zeus
 Wed Feb 05, 2003 9:38 am
<div style='font: 9pt ; text-align: left; '>Dear lord....</div>

 #4371  by Derithian
 Wed Feb 05, 2003 3:37 pm
<div style='font: italic bold 14pt ; text-align: center; '>damn I missed you lover</div>