<div style='font: 9pt ; text-align: left; '>Black belts really don't mean that much. I realized this when I went into a local Hapkido school, and the so called Black Belts were no better than some of the yellow belts at my Hapkido club in Davis. I've sparred with black belt TKD people and the ones I sparred couldn't punch if their lives depended on it. Belt color matters not. How hard you train, how well you train, and how correctly you train is what separates the fighters from the rest.
But to answer your question, how can you train to become an effective fighter? IMO, the answer is experience. Unless you put yourself through that type of experience constantly, you simply won't know how to handle yourself when you really need to. I mean, how do you get better at basketball? You play more basketball. How do you become a faster runner? You run more. How do you get better at fighting? You fight more. Does this mean you have to go out and pick fights constantly in order to be able to fight? Not necessarily. But it does mean that the closer your training resembles real fight situations, the better. The karate guy you dealt with probably knew a lot of forms and techniques, but he obviously had very little experience in <i>applying</i> them. We all know that all you have to do to be a good archer is to hit the bulls eye consistently, but how many of us can do it without proper training?
IMO, part of martial arts training is to train yourself to handle any fighting situation. That necessarily means sparring. And not just sparring where the other guy does the type of stuff you expect. You have to spar against people who will charge at you. People who try to take you down. People who like to punch a lot. People who kick a lot. People who mix it up, etc. Otherwise, someone comes along and does something you don't expect, you get toasted. That's why those kung fu and karate guys lost to the bjj guys. They never dreamed that someone would try to charge in and take them to the ground, let alone fight them on the ground. I've spared with Tae Kwon Do guys who not only didn't know how to punch, but also didn't know how to defend against them. That's because they spent all their time sparring other TKD guys who don't punch either, and the concept of "punching" hadn't really occurred to them. I had to ring their bells quite a few times before they learned to put their hands up when I close in (they usually leave their hands dangling by their legs).
Now about your girlfriend. I'd really have to see her class to see if it's any good. In my experience though, a whole freakin lot of public MA schools suck. But if she is to be able to defend herself, then she'll need to spar eventually. It's ok if you don't spar immediately when you start learning. In fact, it's better that you build up your foundation first. But eventually, some time down the line, you'll have to spar. If I were you, I'd go take a look at her classes. In my opinion, there are two main things to look for if you want to see if a school trains fighters. Actually, there are a lot more, but these two are pretty important. One is to see if the students are instilled with confidence. Look at the higher level students (red, brown, black belts). Is it glaringly obvious that they are better than the white and yellow belts? They should be. It should be like night and day. Secondly, look at their sparring sessions. See how realistic it is. Does it look like they could handle themselves in a real street fight?
Actually, Brazilian Jujitsu is an excellent art to study if you want to learn how do defend yourself. The reason is because you basically train the same way you fight. A lot of their training is basically sparring. Muay Thai is another good style to train in, although it can be pretty tough on your body, and you're sort of out of luck if your opponent is a lot bigger than you. Normally, I'd recommend Wing Chun, which is the style I currently study, because it is designed to allow a smaller person to fight bigger guys. But finding a good Wing Chun instructor is very hard. (Note than in the three styles I mentioned, sparring plays a huge role in the curriculum)
How long has your girlfriend been training? You know, there's a good way to see if she'll be able to handle herself out on the street. Just charge her (in a controlled environment of course) the way you charged the Karate guy. Since you have no formal MA training and she does, she should be able to kick your ass. If she can't, then either she needs more training, or she needs to find a better school. This is just my guestimate, but I think that after three or so years of training one should be able to defend oneself against the average joe (like you ^_^). If not, then there's something fishy going on.
Zhuge Liang</div>
